Relationship Advice

There’s no rhyme or reason when it comes to what goes on in a relationship. All people are different and then you have to consider each person’s own character when they begin to get involved and how it interacts with the other. So, to say there is a cut and dry methodology to giving proper relationship advice is crazy. However, there are several guidelines you can follow to make sure the advice you are receiving is kosher.

1. Look At The Source Of The Relationship Advice First

   Many times your good friends or family will want to tell you what is best for you. Do they really know what they’re talking about? Are they in your shoes? Most likely they have never been. Can your mom and dad (who’ve had a perfect relationship since the beginning of time) tell you what to to in the case or your cheating husband when you have a 12 year old daughter? They can console you, sure, but allowing them to tell you how to proceed is opening the door to inexperience with a particularly bad situation. Wouldn’t you feel more at ease talking to people who fell into the same situation? Support groups. Online forums. They don’t even need to know your name. They only need to be able to relate.

2. Get More Than One Opinion

   Do not listen to just one person. Get a consensus from many people about the problem you’re having. Relationship advice from a woman scorned by her husband’s affair may not be the best advice. You may talk to 5 others after her who’ve all accepted their husband’s faults, their willingness to change, and allowed themselves to move past the issue and regain happiness without ending in divorce.

3. Psychology Aspects And Expert Opinion

   Many professionals give wonderful advice. However, their advice is most likely based on the written word and studies done in text books. They still have to try and piece together how your somewhat unique relationship fits into their studies and categorize you a prognosis. They can get this wrong. They may not have first-hand knowledge of your scenario. Their marriage might be rock steady. Experience matters. If going the route of a professional, take several consultations. The differences in what’s said in the initial meeting may be all over the board. If they are, you may be better off explaining your situation online anonymously and finding someone that relates better. If they are not, most likely your situation is a cut and dry case and any of the professionals you talked to may be able to properly help.

4. Relationship Advice And Length Of Relationship Matter

   When do you know when to quit? How long do you have to be with someone before you actually need advice? Dating advice should surely be different if your girlfriend drunkenly kisses someone else 3 years into a pre-engagement relationship than if you’d only been dating 3 weeks. Don’t hesitate to make a drastic decision if problems arise early. It’s more of a mistake and less of a possible pattern of behavior the farther down the road it happens.

5. Follow Your Heart But Listen To Your Brain

   Don’t let one work without the other! Your heart has the overall say so, but it can also get you into trouble. Your brain is there to help your heart, not to control it. If it’s necessary and all else fails, write a pros and cons list. Don’t just throw it together either. Take a full day. Remember, when it comes to your relationship, it may just be the rest of your life your deciding and that decision shouldn’t be made on a whim!

   Tip – don’t weigh each point. No matter how big or small, a pro is a pro and a con is a con. Adding weight will only make your self-conscious listen to your heart and you’ll most likely make the wrong decision.

It doesn’t take rocket science to figure out how to fix things between you and someone else sometimes, but more often than not you will require relationship advice from someone other than yourself. Be sure to follow the above guidelines and get the right help to find your happiness again.