answered
Call it a day? ....coping with new partners ex an kids update!
Hello again i recently asked a question about coping with a new partners ex and kids and would like to thank you for the advice given. Things started to improve he told his ex to only call him when its important. So things were going well because his ex thought we had split up and when she found out we were giving it another go....all hell broke lose, she threatened me and my car etc but out of respect for my partner and his difficult situation i kept quiet. Then she wrote things on our facebook profiles which led to us deleting her and friends from our profiles. This woman said some pretty harsh things. Then my partner goes out for a meal with her and the kids as her other son who hes been like a dad to for his 13th as his real dad didnt turn up. Im fine with this but it hurts that my partner seems to have just forgotton what this woman has said. I understand hes got to put the kids first but i just feel humiliated, let down, disrespected and like my partner just doesnt support me enough. I dont want to break up with this man but i dont see what else there is i can do?. I have not been able to talk to him since this meal as you can imagine i was not too pleased an now there friends again on facebook an i could really do with outside perspectives thanks
best answer by ChickWithMonkey...
Taking the dispute to threats and nasty words on Facebook, his ex shows that she's very immature and seems to be incapable of normal adult interaction. She's reacting to your attempt to have a healthy relationship with your partner, her ex, and she clearly can't handle it.
Your partner is not helping the situation by allowing her bad behavior to continue and supporting her by joining her with the kids. He could have taken the children out separately to celebrate the birthday; he does not need to join the group led by his ex. By later adding her back as a friend on Facebook, he's letting her know that no matter how badly she behaves, he'll continue to be part of her life.
There's a difference between putting the kids first and putting up with ridiculous behavior from their mother. You mentioned that you had broken up with your partner but were giving it another go; you might want to revisit that decision. It doesn't look like this man understands how to support his children and his new partner at the same time. It starts with not putting up with his ex's immaturity. Good luck.
Taking the dispute to threats and nasty words on Facebook, his ex shows that she's very immature and seems to be incapable of normal adult interaction. She's reacting to your attempt to have a healthy relationship with your partner, her ex, and she clearly can't handle it.
Your partner is not helping the situation by allowing her bad behavior to continue and supporting her by joining her with the kids. He could have taken the children out separately to celebrate the birthday; he does not need to join the group led by his ex. By later adding her back as a friend on Facebook, he's letting her know that no matter how badly she behaves, he'll continue to be part of her life.
There's a difference between putting the kids first and putting up with ridiculous behavior from their mother. You mentioned that you had broken up with your partner but were giving it another go; you might want to revisit that decision. It doesn't look like this man understands how to support his children and his new partner at the same time. It starts with not putting up with his ex's immaturity. Good luck.
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