Should the victim of an emotional affair be held accountable for the cheaters actions?

My husband has been having an emotional affair with his married exgirlfriend for over 8 months. The lengths to which he has gone to lie, deceive and cover-up his actions are straight off of tv - listing her in his phone under her husband's name, making calls/texts/emails in the middle of the night, signing emails "yours", "love you", "looking at the moon" and "miss you to" . He says they are "just friends" but 277 text messages in 12 days and 59 phone calls in 10 days seems a little excessive and more than just friendship. Not only did I catch him and confront him infront of our marriage counselor after which I asked him to leave the house, two weeks later I found evidence that he was still in contact with her and planning to meet soon. All this after he swore he was no longer communicating with her - I would expect more from a USAF officer! Not only does he not understand what HE did wrong he wants to blame me for his actions.