answered
Isnt the rule, whoever cooks the other washes up?
I cook dinner every night for my boyfriend and I, and sometimes whoever he decides to bring home for dinner. Afterwards I always have to do the washing up. I have always been told the rule is whoever washes does not have to clean up. And if i dont clean up the dishes get left there for a few days and start to smell. and then he complains about the smell, but still wont do the. He thinks that because his wage buys the food and groceries, he should not have to wash up, and when i threatn to not make him dinner, he threatns to not pay for the groceries. I have enough money to buy groceries for myself if he does do that, but i dont want to hurt him. I do love him afterall lol
best answer by ricair...
This is an interesting and common problem couples have. First, the only rules are the ones that you agree on. Apparently, his rule is he pays the groceries, you cook and wash the dishes. Your rule sounds like he pays the groceries, you cook, and he washes the dishes. Clearly, both aren't on the same page. Imagine if you paid for the groceries, what would your expectations be?
Here are some options. 1) Cook only what you like to eat, or minimize the amount of dishes. Only buy the groceries that you like. Or, cook the same thing everyday or just eat leftovers. 2) Cook and wash dishes together...sometimes it's sexy and fun. 3) Give him an incentive to wash dishes...if you are too busy washing dishes, then you are too busy to have sex, mess around, clean house, wash clothes, etc. 4) Tell him you are too tired or busy to cook and clean, and suggest take-out.
I think the key is not forcing him to wash dishes, but either minimize the amount of dishes, or do them yourself knowing you've gained something elsewhere. As long as the dishes get done. I actually like cooking and doing the dishes, but hate doing laundry and ironing. Also, he needs to understand that money isn't enough, but you need to understand that it can't be split 50/50 either unless you are also making and contributing the same amount of money and time at work.
This is an interesting and common problem couples have. First, the only rules are the ones that you agree on. Apparently, his rule is he pays the groceries, you cook and wash the dishes. Your rule sounds like he pays the groceries, you cook, and he washes the dishes. Clearly, both aren't on the same page. Imagine if you paid for the groceries, what would your expectations be?
Here are some options. 1) Cook only what you like to eat, or minimize the amount of dishes. Only buy the groceries that you like. Or, cook the same thing everyday or just eat leftovers. 2) Cook and wash dishes together...sometimes it's sexy and fun. 3) Give him an incentive to wash dishes...if you are too busy washing dishes, then you are too busy to have sex, mess around, clean house, wash clothes, etc. 4) Tell him you are too tired or busy to cook and clean, and suggest take-out.
I think the key is not forcing him to wash dishes, but either minimize the amount of dishes, or do them yourself knowing you've gained something elsewhere. As long as the dishes get done. I actually like cooking and doing the dishes, but hate doing laundry and ironing. Also, he needs to understand that money isn't enough, but you need to understand that it can't be split 50/50 either unless you are also making and contributing the same amount of money and time at work.
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