Workplace/Co-workers #723 | asked by Melina1 4 years ago
I was working in a office. My boss was a big drinker and I had never drunk at work before ever.
Two years had gone past and I started to have a wine or a beer here or there and was praised for how well I have been fitting in to the team. So for team events etc- I had two or so glasses of wine or beer (in line with the majority of the team, a few times I did have three glasses when we were not going back to work or if my boss was pouring my drink). Most team members also bragged about how much they drank in their spare time and were the first to be like lets get our drink on.
I worked very long hours had a good rep. We were often at book launches and worked were it was accepted to have a drink during a show or at a publicity event.
A year ago my boss got moved and his replacement (who prev bragged about drinking moved in). I started to get bullied very badly by the new boss. I suspect a lot of it was because the old boss and his family and I got along (I saw his wife on weekends). Anyhoe I found a new job and have since moved on.
However, for the last month I worked there I would go for lunches with my old boss and some team mates and we would have a beer or two (max), we would also go for drinks after work. This happened less then one dozen times.
On one occasion a team member I had lunch with told a member of staff that we both had beers at lunch. I am sure it got back to the new boss but nothing was ever said of it. I can only imagaine because this person had said they were a big drinker in the past.
I know that I was not coping with the bullying and was leaving anyway. But just because it was acceptable within the old work does not make it right.
I so regret it so much that it just consumes me how stupid I could have been. Most of the time I was in the bathroom close to tears from the bullying. I mean it was bad. But that is no excuse to go crazy on the drinking or even have more than one ever!
I am so paranoid that this will ruin my rep, what if the resturant owners now someone I work with and tell them, what if the bully boss just makes it up, what if staff members who did not drink talk about it
Now I am in a non-drinking team I just keep thinking how normal people would have seen me...did they think I was a drunk, did they not notice...I dont know!
No one has ever confronted me on it. But I never confronted drinkers when I was against drinking. But I am so fearful that people will find out or speculate because my old boss was a big drinker and that it will come to haunt me.
I have since found out the new boss had made it a mission to damage more then one ex-member of staffs reputation.
It has been nearly a year since this and no one has said anything to me about it.
I am not asking for people to say I told you so, or you deserve it, I KNOW! I just need to know how to deal with this, have I damaged my rep for good? how do I bounce back? any advice on how to deal would be great. I do not drink now.