My Husband’s Nagging Won't Get Me To Work Out More

"I am a 35 y.o. woman and have been about the same weight since high school (20 years ago). I do not claim to have a perfect body, but I am not fat. I have a desk job, so my butt/thighs are maybe a little more jiggly now, but nothing major. I am the primary breadwinner (I make 4X what my husband does), and work very long hours (9:30 am-8pm typically, sometimes more). I know I need to work out, but my job is so demanding that it is hard to do regularly. Sometimes I will go through a period of working out a lot, but then I may go a month without working out at all, particularly if I get sick or injured or go through a really busy period at work that throws off my schedule. My husband of 5 years is constantly on my case to work out and specifically comments that he wishes I had a toned ass. Some of his comments suggest to me that he does not find me attractive anymore and he doesn’t really want to have sex with me because I don’t work out regularly without fail. And he says that, if I loved him and want him to find me sexy I would work out three times a week "for him" and that this is what "all women" do for their men. Our fights on this issue are ruining our marriage, and I don't really understand why he does not consider me to be beautiful as I am now. I basically look the same as I did when I first met him 8 years ago. He needs to see what is beautiful about my body just the way it is and has always been. He needs to trust me that I know I need to work out, but probably not as much as he “wishes” I would and that does not mean that I am not sexy or that I do not love him. And he needs to realize that his repeated nagging and put-downs are just making me feel bad about myself and will not motivate me to work out more. I think what really is going on here is that he has 7-year itch, and it is not about anything I have done or not done. ...view more"