Ex To Friend Vs. New Girl To Possible Girlfriend
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Side 2
Side 2
Side 1 says...
So, my boyfriend is kinda jealous about me still being friends with my ex. I used to see my ex quite often, since he lived in the street next to mine, but now he's moved so i barely see him. We're still friends though, so we meet up once in a while (like max once a month). WITH other friends, including his girlfriend. My boyfriend lives a half an hour drive from me, but since we don't have cars we only see eachother on weekends. So he can't always be there when I meet up with my friends, but it's not like he's not welcome.
Now, about a year ago I found ot my boyfriend met a girl over the internet. They started talking and well they kinda got a crush on eachother. In the end he actually was thinking about dumping me for her. I found this out due to a girl he had told that too and she felt bad for me. We talked it over, got through it and he said it was kinda because he needed a kick, not because he didn't love me anymore, but he was 'addicted' to the feeling of being in love. Few months later though, the exact same scenario, girl over the internet ( a social network site) he met, started talking, gt a crush. But now he didn't even bother hiding it, i was on the same site, so i could see the things they said to eachother. He said her boyfriend (!) was openminded to it and let het the chance to explore their feelings. I told him I wasn't like that, that he could take a break from us if he wanted to, but I was not going to 'share' him until he figured out who he wanted. In the end it kinda stopped, we never went on a break and he made it seem that he chose for me. I don't know wether that's really true, since the things they said to eachother afterwards just made it sound that they had had a fight where he didn't wanna hear her side of the story.
In his eyes, being befrieded with an ex, who is absolutely no threat to him and is not interested in getting me back, is the same as still being friends with those 2 girls, still talking about sex from time to time...
Now, about a year ago I found ot my boyfriend met a girl over the internet. They started talking and well they kinda got a crush on eachother. In the end he actually was thinking about dumping me for her. I found this out due to a girl he had told that too and she felt bad for me. We talked it over, got through it and he said it was kinda because he needed a kick, not because he didn't love me anymore, but he was 'addicted' to the feeling of being in love. Few months later though, the exact same scenario, girl over the internet ( a social network site) he met, started talking, gt a crush. But now he didn't even bother hiding it, i was on the same site, so i could see the things they said to eachother. He said her boyfriend (!) was openminded to it and let het the chance to explore their feelings. I told him I wasn't like that, that he could take a break from us if he wanted to, but I was not going to 'share' him until he figured out who he wanted. In the end it kinda stopped, we never went on a break and he made it seem that he chose for me. I don't know wether that's really true, since the things they said to eachother afterwards just made it sound that they had had a fight where he didn't wanna hear her side of the story.
In his eyes, being befrieded with an ex, who is absolutely no threat to him and is not interested in getting me back, is the same as still being friends with those 2 girls, still talking about sex from time to time...
Added by Losteyes (female)
Side 2 says...
I admit I'm kinda jealous. I don't really have anything against the guy, but she used to see him a lo more than once a month. At the start he didn't have a girlfriend. At a certain point I contacted him for a birthday-surprise for her. He would pick her up at home, take her to town and there I'd be. All of us going to a concert together. Suddenly she asked me what I thought of the way his beard was shaved, since she had done that. Now I know that it was meant as a joke that time being. She did shave his beard, but she kinda believed that she wouldn't be good at it and would hurt him, mutual friends and his mother were there too and guided her a bit. But they didn't tell me that at the beginning. But I still don't think you should shave an ex' beard, even though your friends now.
It doesn't at her ex though, she has another good friend that broke up with his current girlfriend because he believed he had a shot with my girlfriend. He didn't and they didn't talk for a while. But now they are friends again. She tells me she barely sees him but I don't really trust it. I kinda have trust issues, I know that. But I'm really not sure if she tells me the truth.
Now the story with the girls from the internet is true. I did do that, and I had a few flirts before that too. Nothing ever happened aside from the somtimes sexually tinted conversations and texts we had/sent. But I did doubt about my relationship sometimes. Since I love being in love and that feeling kinda went away. I know that's part of being in a long-term relationship, but I didn't know if I was ready to give that up yet. Now that being in love feeling is back with my girlfriend though. It goes with ups and downs I guess. I lost contact with all the girls I flirted with for a while, but recontacted them, or they recontacted me. I still had fun talking to them. And yes there are still some sexually tinted conversations with them, or conversations about my sexlife with my girlfriend. The first girl handels it well, she really just became a friend of mine. The other one still makes some comments where I'm not sure if she's still interested in me. Especially since she gets kinda mean when I mention my girlfriends name. She's still with her boyfriend though, so I don't know. I talk about sex with all my female friends, so I don't really see any harm in it.
So yes, I think her being friends with her ex is the same as me being friends with those girls. Those girls mean nothing to me anymore, it's just fun to tease them a bit. My girlfriend doesn't have to see them as concurrention. Just as she tells me that her ex is no concurrention for me.
It doesn't at her ex though, she has another good friend that broke up with his current girlfriend because he believed he had a shot with my girlfriend. He didn't and they didn't talk for a while. But now they are friends again. She tells me she barely sees him but I don't really trust it. I kinda have trust issues, I know that. But I'm really not sure if she tells me the truth.
Now the story with the girls from the internet is true. I did do that, and I had a few flirts before that too. Nothing ever happened aside from the somtimes sexually tinted conversations and texts we had/sent. But I did doubt about my relationship sometimes. Since I love being in love and that feeling kinda went away. I know that's part of being in a long-term relationship, but I didn't know if I was ready to give that up yet. Now that being in love feeling is back with my girlfriend though. It goes with ups and downs I guess. I lost contact with all the girls I flirted with for a while, but recontacted them, or they recontacted me. I still had fun talking to them. And yes there are still some sexually tinted conversations with them, or conversations about my sexlife with my girlfriend. The first girl handels it well, she really just became a friend of mine. The other one still makes some comments where I'm not sure if she's still interested in me. Especially since she gets kinda mean when I mention my girlfriends name. She's still with her boyfriend though, so I don't know. I talk about sex with all my female friends, so I don't really see any harm in it.
So yes, I think her being friends with her ex is the same as me being friends with those girls. Those girls mean nothing to me anymore, it's just fun to tease them a bit. My girlfriend doesn't have to see them as concurrention. Just as she tells me that her ex is no concurrention for me.
Added by Illias (male)
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