I Have The Sister In Law From Hell!

"My husband and I have been together for almost 3 years now. We just recently got married at the end of June. His sister hasn't liked me from the beginning, which is fine. I don't like her either. But from day one this woman has gone out of her way to be rude not only to me, but to my children (I have a 5 and 3 year old who everyone else in the family accepts and treats as biological members of this family), my family and my friends. Before we got married, Andy took my oldest daughter out to his parents house while he went to go see his dad. Micaela went to go play on the swingset, fell down, and went running up to the house crying for grandma. Grandma wasn't home, Andy and his dad were out in the garage, and his sister was inside sleeping (taking a nap) with her daughter at the time. She came flying out of the house, screaming at Andy to take care of his rude little girl. Andy came home and told me that Micaela had been very naughty, and proceeded to tell that story. I was livid. My child was hurt and wanted somebody to help her! She was just 3.5 at the time! What was she supposed to do? Isn't that how children react when they are hurt or scared? Last Christmas we were out there. My youngest daughter had left her doll on the floor, and the dog started to chew on it. Andy's mom picked it up and put it on the toychest. I told her that it was Kayman's doll, and Dani said *Oh, well then in all means, keep chewing it.* Excuse me?! WTF!! Some background on this woman: She is 40 years old. Her daughter is just a few months older than my youngest (they are both 3 now). She lives at home, in the basement. That situation isn't as messed up as it sounds. Andy's mom and dad's basement is like a separate apartment. She works and supports herself and her child. But her parents watch Zoey for free, and just pretty much cater to her every demand (Dani's, not Zoey's). This past weekend was deer hunting season. Dani called up Andy's sister in law right in front of me and invited her and her kids to go see Madagascar 2 with her and Zoey. Hadn't said a word to me since I arrived the previous night. Not hi, not good morning, not how are you, nothing. Of course I was hurt! Not only is that rude, it's also embarrassing to know straight up that you're not welcome. Someone told her that I was upset because she called her mom crying about how her mom had told her to leave if she couldn't be civil, and she had, and that wasn't the right thing to do either. She got home from the movie, went straight into the basement with Zoey. Zoey came back upstairs and invited Micaela and Kayman down to watch a movie with her. They went down there, and Dani yelled at the 2 of them to get back upstairs because there wasn't anything down there for them. At this point I was really upset and left the house. What else am I supposed to do?! I don't like her either, but I don't let that color the way I treat her, her daughter, or the rest of her family. My husband hasn't ever said a word to her, and I'm afraid that if I open my mouth I'll either cry harder or say really mean things that shouldn't be said no matter how angry I am. I told my husband that I'm not going to go over there anymore, not even for holidays. That's not the type of person I am, I love the tradition of being with everybody for major events, but I have to put an end to this. If I can't be treated respectfully, if my KIDS can't be treated respectfully, then I'm not going over there. End of story. Andy says that he agrees with me and that he'll talk to her, but I've yet to see it. I don't think he has the guts to stand up to her, to confront her, to defend me. What should I do?!"