Boyfriend Not Trying Hard Enough...
"3 weeks ago, i lost my job. yea, my fault.. i skipped doing my cleaning project at the local pizza place. ontop of working with assholes, who simply didnt like me, and complained, making up profanity which got my hours cut, i just hate the food service industry.
after that, i got a job trying to sell knives.. which, doesnt sound like much, but with a 16.25 per appointment base pay, it was great news. i went to the interview, then on to training. i was excited! they really got me pumped up on this job. then.. i went and started to sell the knives.. (cutco) ... suddenly, i wasnt so excited.. nobody had any money, or any interest on hearing what i had to say.. none of my friends, and few of my family members. first paycheck was a whopping 48 dollars.. yea.. i need more.. so, for the next to weeks, up to today, i have been filling out applications, more or less refusing to do any more food service work, because.. there's hate, then there's how i feel. i have still applied for some of them, and don't get me wrong, my girl has helped me out A LOT. she has been a phenomenal person to me. but, after i applied to more than 70 places, and got 1 interview (obviously without the job) she is threatening to kick me out. i have no idea how many places she has sent my resume off to. I am getting threatened to get kicked out, i almost cant blame her, except for the fact that she is claiming i dont try. 70 places in 2 weeks isnt trying??? thats more applications in that 2 weeks, then in my entire life 3 times over!
so, tell me what you think...
I have been with him for almost three months. In that very short amount of time, we have fallen very hard for him, and most of the time we are really incredibly great together. I really care about him. Which is why I'm even bothering to write this on here..instead of saying goodbye to him like most people will probably tell me to. Because..I don't want to.
He lost his job three weeks ago - due mostly to being tardy or just not showing up at all too often. He still don't have a job. He tries to tell me he's trying really hard, but he really just doesn't. I have gone above and beyond for him - I've paid for his food, snacks, movies, anything we have done in the last three weeks I have paid for. I spoil him all the time with gifts and backrubs ...among other things :">
I do all this because I like to show in actions how much I care. He doesn't really do the same...he has spent most of the last three weeks on my computer, browsing websites, and eating my food. He has cleaned up a bit here and there..but the house is always a mess and I rarely ever have time to clean it so it would be really helpful if he were to at least make the house (since it's mostly his messes anyway) look nicer instead of playing on RoosterTeeth.com and watching YouTube videos.
He has only actually gone out 3 or 4 times to apply to jobs..but mostly he stays at home, send one or two resumes to a few e-mails here or there..and calls it good. It's frustrating that he is not trying harder, especially when I can't afford to pay his third of the rent, and the other bills. It's also even more frustrating because at this point - even McDonald's would be an improvement..over having no job at all. I gave him a deadline two weeks ago..and it's coming up in two days. Still no job. If he has been really trying the whole time.. I'd definitely let him stay a little longer..but he hasn't. I even have gone through and sent a bunch of his resumes out for him, and applied at some places for him in my spare time while I am at work..and sent him links to applications for jobs that are close by and available. Mostly, he just tells me there's no point because he won't get hired anyway..or he refuses to fill out the application because he doesn't want to work in food. Today, we got into a huge online argument, because I am at a loss as to what else I can do or say to make him understand he can't be choosy right now - he has to take whatever he can get. I tried explanining he is being unrealistic..and he told me that it's not unrealistic to not want a mediocre job.
I can't seem to make him understand...target is better than the street.
I hate this so much because I don't want his lack of a job and motivation to be what destroys us.. but I have done everything I can think of.. and everyone is telling me I have no obligations to him because we haven't even known each other for that long. Please help me to make him understand he needs to just fill out any and all applications he can find, and deal with getting a "better" job later..when he already has a job to at least pay his rent. Thanks to anyone and everyone who gives any advice/suggestions on this..and sorry for such a long explanation (This is just the short verison, too!)