"She Never Lets Me Win At Tetris!"

"Well, before I start, I should say than Benjamin is completely right. I don't ever let him win at Tetris. It's nothing malicious, I promise- I'm just the best Tetris player ever. I can't help it.

Getting upset with me for winning at Tetris is like getting mad at Yao Ming for being really tall. Of course you're going to lose a height contest to Yao Ming! Most people do, and there's no shame in that. It's not because you're bad at tall, it's just statistics. I just so happen to be tall at tetris, and Benjamin isn't. And that's fine. But even if I did try to stoop to his level to patch up this relationship, he still couldn't beat me. He'd lose again AND I'd be living a lie. And who wants to live a lie? No one.

Anyway, there are lots of things Benjamin does every day that I can't do. I can't pee standing up, for example, because I'm not a guy. I can't check out books from the SFSU library because I'm not a student. I can't wear size 12 shoes because my feet are size 8, ladies. And he'll never beat me at Tetris because the only person who could beat me at tetris is a clone of myself. And even then it's iffy.

I'm sure it feels good to pee standing up. I'm sure SFSU has a lot of good books. Benjamin has these awesome high tops that are brown and plaid and I wish I could wear them, but I can't. I can't be an astronaut either, because I wear glasses. I'm over it. So why isn't he over not being able to play Tetris?

I'm sorry, Benjamin, but asking me to dumb down my game to save our relationship is just asking too much. Grow up and accept your inferiority. I accept it. And I love you anyway....view more"