I was having my hair done. I had been there for hours while he was out Karting with a competition he had one on the radio. We were going to meet after I had met a friend for coffee to do the weekly shop. He said he would go as I was running late.
After I left the salon she had put a fringe(bangs) in and really wasn't happy. I hate how you sit there and they do something and you smile and say its fine and then are really unsure when you leave. I had also had quite a bit of length taken off so it was a really big difference.
I was having a complete freak-out, and I pretty much expected him to get that from the tone of my voice. Haircuts are a petty thing to freak over, but I am a girl and it’s a big deal to me. So I am looking for platitudes, or something calming – rather than rational questioning as to how I got myself into this in the first place. I know when I’ve f#@%d up, I don’t need it reiterated to me when I am panicked.
He is always, always going to have the moral ground on these things because I will always yell. That is me.
When I am upset or stressed, I raise my voice. That is how I am. The fact that he doesn’t do that, is just his way and it isn’t better or worse. I would hope he can distinguish between when I am shouting about something to him, and shouting at him.
So he can always choose to take offence and switch a problem with me, into a problem between us. In my opinion, that is how it went on Saturday.
I phoned him to calm me down and tell me it was ok – what actually happened was, I got upset and he took offence and it became a problem with us. I hung up, because if I hadn’t, there is a chance that I would have bellowed at him – actually bellowed at him, rather than about something to him – and it was creating another problem for me that I didn’t want. I didn’t want to say something I would later regret.
Following on from that, I thought your text was totally unnecessary and a petty thing to do when I was already upset. All in all, it was pretty unhelpful.
So that’s where I am with it all. I didn’t want to talk to him about it Saturday night, because I was worried I would lose my temper. It is not that I wouldn’t talk to him, but that I am not good at making polite conversation when we are clearly not fine. He is better at that than I am