When All The Wrong Things Are Said And Done

Jeff and I have been together for 3 years. Three months ago I got unexpectedly pregnant. Worried at first since we're not set up to have a baby yet, I was secretly excited since all I ever wanted was to have children of my own. But I am not married. My family wants me to be married. I told them about the pregnancy and they were surprisingly fine with it (although it goes against all they believe with having kids out of wedlock). That is the good news.

I told Jeff a month after I became pregnant when I took the test. He seemed happy. We talked about having the baby or an abortion but I don't believe in it and he says he could never live with it so we are having it for sure. Marriage never came up in our talks. I figured maybe he wanted to but still wanted to have a plan to surprise me with a proposal so I haven't pushed the issue.

So now it's my third month and I couldn't wait anymore. So I ask Jeff if we were gonna get married. I hoped that we would do it before the baby came and have enough time to plan a small wedding for family. He dropped a bombshell on me. He told me he didn't want to marry me and that we should just keep our relationship the way it is.

We live together. We've lived together for 14 months and we get along great. What is the difference if we were married and everyone was happy? He said he loves to be with me and doesn't want to be with anyone else. Why can't he just make it legal and appease both our families, and the church? When I ask him these things he thinks marriage is a bad word. Tell him it's the right thing to do.