My boyfriend and I have been together for over a year. We've been through many ups and downs. We really love each other but we fight/argue a lot. One particular issue for me is his lack of care with his phone (messaging and calling). He says he does not like messaging. He often takes hours to reply and it frustrates me.
The thing is, I remember when we first started going out, he was much more keen to communicate with me through the phone. I feel like he does not want to make as much effort anymore. I've told him this many times. When I first told him how I felt about his decrease in effort (a few weeks after we started going out) he agreed that it wasn't right for him to do this. Now, he just says that I should understand that he does not like messaging or that he doesn't check his phone often or that doesn't have his phone on him etc...
Let me give you a recent example from 2 nights ago:
I was upset because I had been fighting with a close friend of mine that day. I told my boyfriend this through a text that night. He asked me what had happened. I said it was too long to explain in a text, that I wish I could call him and that I was sad about this (we both couldn't really call each other because we were going to go over our caps). He replied about 3-4 hrs later saying 'Fair enough. Well you talk about it next time I see you then." To me, it felt like he was not really here for me. He knew I was upset but he took so long to answer and didn't even say anything comforting. I expressed this feeling in my reply but didn't want to make a big deal out of it so I ended with a joke by saying 'where is the love? :P'
He did not answer until the NEXT day in the late afternoon. His excuse for taking ages to reply the night before and that day was because he was studying the night before (we're both students) and then he was in a hurry to get to work the next day.
I don't understand a few things:
1) Fair enough if he was studying the night before but he could've taken just 2 minutes to reply to my message before he went to bed
2) Even if he didn't want to message before going to bed because he was tired (which is an excuse he always uses), he could've messaged me on his way to work (he catches the train to work)
Anyways, I think this is long enough. I wanted to know, what do you guys think? Am I really being unreasonable because I want my boyfriend to NOT take hours to reply to my messages? We don't see each other often (maybe once, twice a week on average) so when we're apart I feel like I am unimportant to him because of his lack of effort in communicating with me.
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