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Smoking Inside....    

Side 2 by Dano

I have smoked since long before she met me. She knew I smoke; she even gave me the pet name "dragon."
We live in a state where smoking is not allowed inside any public building. I have to go outside to smoke when I am at work, at restraunts , EVERYWHERE. The only place I can smoke in comfort is in my own home. I shouldn't have to go stand in the cold or the rain at my own house. When the weather is nice, I don't mind all that much, but it is degrading to be forced outside in inclement weather like a dog. I won't be treated that way where I live.
Further, it is extremely inconvenient to have to stop whatever I am doing to go take care of a craving. I play a lot of online poker(real money, not play money), and with all the ups and downs, close calls and adrenaline rushes, smoking helps to keep me calm. Am I supposed to just let some of my chip stack get blinded away while I am outside?
I DO undertand that to non-smokers the smell is unplesant and I am more than happy to try and find some compromise. I have suggested having a designated room to smoke in. I can put the computer in there. I have suggested putting a fan in a window pointing out, to suck the smoke out the window. I am COMPLETELY open to other suggestions on how we can work it out. Apparently this isn't good enough for her.
Why would I want to sell our couch or bed, anyway? Besides, anyone who is buying a used couch would care more about getting a good price than if it was owned by a smoker.
We have been talking about getting married and I fear that this situation bodes ill for our future. It is naive to think that we will never have disagreements, but what gives me pause is that she seems unwilling to work together to solve a problem. She wants HER way or nothing. Whenever I don't just cave and give her what she wants she says I am being mean or "ugly" to her. I mean, we're supposed to be a team, right?

Side 1 by esb2m

My boyfriend smokes, I do not. We are talking about getting married/living together. The subject came up that I dont think he should smoke inside. I think it makes it hard to breath, makes guests unformfortable, makes things seem dirty because of the smell, and it makes no one ever want to buy your couch or bed if you decided to sell it. he thinks we should have a room he can smoke in, not to mention the financial disability of us just starting out him requiring a room, the smell would not be containing within the room it would travel. I do not think he should smoke inside.

Updates

His side is completely valid and I acknowledge his addiction to smoking. However, I have to think about being uncomfortable in my own home also. He speaks of stepping outside to smoke, am I suppose to be outside all the time so I can breath?

I am willing to compromise but I am not willing to just give him his way. I believe in reaching logical resolutions. In my eyes the logical resolution is him stepping outside to smoke. I love him very much and want to be with him, but I want to live and sleep in a place where I can breath comfortably. I want to have nice things that don’t smell like smoke.

I realize he smokes and I have no problem with him smoking. I have always willingly accepted it. I just want to live in a clean smelling place. =/

updated 6 years ago

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