"Is A Few Hours Of Dancing Too Much To Ask"

"We've been together for almost two and a half years and have lived together for a year. We have never taken a vacation together and much of the activities we partake in are planned by me. I have been *desperate* to go on vacation together and have asked him to take more of an initiative in organizing things generally for us to do as well as be more of a driving force behind a trip we take. I feel like if I don't do something in our relationship it won't get done and I don't want that to be a constant theme. Additionally, he’s never taken a day off since we’ve been together, not even when I packed my things and moved to a different part of the state to be with him and move in together. He has taken one major vacation for a week in Europe to go clubbing and attend a techno music festival in Ibiza. Additionally, the one weekend activity he did plan for us was to go to “Monster Massive” for another techno music festival which was several hours away from where we live, $100 per ticket and had over 30,000 people in attendance. I enjoy many activities and have said I’d do a number of things ranging from taking piano lessons and golf lessons, to going hang gliding and camping. I even signed up to play the video game Warcraft just to try something he’s into despite not having much of an interest or talent in video games. Much to his dismay, I do not like or enjoy techno music. Actually, I despise it – like nails on a chalkboard. Beyond that I don’t support the culture or lifestyle that goes along with it: glow sticks, drugs and all night partying, scantly clad teenagers and grinding on sweaty strangers. To top it off, I don’t really like to be in big crowds and feel a little claustrophobic in such situations. With that said, I did go to the Monster Massive rave at the Los Angeles Sports Arena to try and support something that is such a big part of his life and to try and do something new and experience something different and outside my comfort zone.

To be clear, I don’t want to take his love for this kind of music away from him. If there were more of a balance of things he suggested we do or we’d taken our own vacation already I’d probably encourage him to go or consider going myself, but that’s not the case. I like live music, I’ve wanted to explore the local music scene and have said I’d love to check out a local show if a DJ he’s fond of comes to town. I just don’t think it’s fair to ask me to dedicate a long holiday weekend, pay a lot of money or drive or fly somewhere (Vegas, no less) to participate in something I don’t really enjoy. Additionally, if this is the only thing he’ll take time off for, the only kind of vacation he’ll take or the only activity he’s going to plan then that’s very limiting and not going to work for me ultimately.

Other key information to consider: he’s 29 and I’m 36. I’m talking about buying a house, getting a dog and toying with the idea of marriage. This doesn’t seem to be a person who’s in the same space or the actions of someone who is in a long term committed relationship with someone they live with. So maybe it’s not just about a few hours of dancing he wants but a basic difference of interests and how we want to live our lives....view more"