Should I believe what he says?

Hiya, This is my story, I met a wonderful in November 2007, he blows my world, I'd been single for 3 years off and on, as before that I was in an volitile relationship, and when my mum suddenly died, he upped and walked out 6 weeks after she died. So I didn't have a high opinion of men! Then this man walked into my life, and I really feel that i've met "the one"

He was funny, honest, we just got on great. He told me right at the beginning that his ex still lived with him, as she was moving back to Australia in the Feb. I was okay with this, as he was honest enough to tell me. He also told me when she was at the flat which was to be honest one time in december, it was dec 4th 2007. Then she was away working or down in wales.

Christmas came and went. Then It was coming up to the anniversary of his mum's death and her birthday feb 4th. He was with me in the morning, however he had to go to work in the afternoon, I'd asked him to stay, but he said NO he had to go to work. Then on Feb 11th 2008 I received an email from his ex on saying that on the 4th dec 07 they had slept together and it was him seducing not her. She said that it was closure sex for her. Also in the afternoon of 4th feb 08 they were together! My world was shattered! I asked to what reason that she came to me now, and she told me that he owed her some money and if she'd come to me before she wouldn't of got it.

I was in bits, this man who I was falling in love with.Had LIED to me. We spoke at lengths about what happend and to this day he still can't give me a reason as to why he lied, or slept with her. So we decided to give things a go, and yes I've been insecure and we've argued over whats happend but through 2008 i've started to give him my trust again.
Things have been going really well. In August last year he moved in, and its been great.

In November last year he proposed and i accepted. So happy days so you think.

We've now both got full time jobs and have been really tired, so love making has gone from 4-5 times a week to luckily once. I've tried talking to him, and he says that just becuase we're not making love, it doesn't mean there's anything wrong.

Then 26th Jan I was due for my period and nothing, Now I have a coil and I'm always on time. We've been to the dr's and he said that he couldn't see the strings, So he's sending me off for a scan. In the mean time i've had some bleeding. But have been constantly moody, grumpy, I'd say for about 3-4 weeks, its like i can't control whats going on in my body! We've have really major arguments. So as you can see I'm really concerened. That he's going to leave as its so bad at the moment. I've had blood tests and nothing has shown up. I've been going through things in my mind, as to what reason i'm like this, I thought perhaps its because of what happend last year, or it could be the anniversary of my mums death. (which was a major shock)

I feel like he's been living with Mrs Insecure, which hasn't been nice for him.

Last night I said maybe whats up with me is what went on last year. He's doesn't want to talk about it and leave it where it was. I think its starting to take its toll on him, and scared that i'm going to lose him.

By yingandyang 10 years ago :: Marriage
  • Rafael Morales
    MA-MS, MHT-MHRS
    I have extensive training and expertise in clinical, counseling, transpersonal/integral psychology and coaching. I provide support to those willing to work on themselves… $2.75/minute
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  • Iain A. Morrison
    MA Psych Cert Ed.
    Loving attachment is probably the greatest source of our happiness - I can help if it is going wrong - or manage the hurt if its over $2.00/minute
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