My husband has not said that he loves me in 7 years - we are not close anymore. Does that mean he doesn't?

We have had 3 "unplanned" children in wedlock (we are educated, employed parents). We did not get married young - and we were together for 5 years before we wed. When I did get pregnant, he started to ignore me because he couldn't "process" the idea. He did this to me all three times. Our oldest was a preemie and he was not there for me - I was hospitalized and he would come to the hospital and not talk to me while he was there. He is a hard working, wonderful father now. But he doesn't make any effort to consider my feelings and ignores me. He says that I should know that I love him - but I'm not sure how. He doesn't say it and he doesn't show it. I left him once - but I came back when he promised to talk to a therapist. We did for a while - until she wanted to see him alone. She said that he had issues that had to be dealt with individually. He stopped going and won't go back. He doesn't spend any time with me as a couple - never says anything nice - doesn't appreciate me. I keep trying to make him happy - but he doesn't appreciate it. Is he staying with me because it would cost him too much money to divorce me? He is obsessed with making and saving money - which is fine. But, I can't even buy the kids new school shoes without being made to feel guilty. I'm not sure staying with him is showing my children a healthy, loving relationship. But I stay because he's a great dad - although I feel completely alone and unloved. I wake up each day holding my head up high with a big smile on my face for my kid's sake. Does he not love me? Am I being stupid - or am I doing the right thing by sticking it out?
By menes 9 years ago :: Marriage
  • Robert Betancourt
    MA, Professional Counseling,Therapist
    Emotional Healing-25+ years experience in helping people find solutions that work. "one of the best therapists here" $2.49/minute
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  • Iain A. Morrison
    MA Psych Cert Ed.
    Loving attachment is probably the greatest source of our happiness - I can help if it is going wrong - or manage the hurt if its over $2.00/minute
       4.82/5
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