After my now-ex-boyfriend repeatedly refused, over 7 years, to move in with me, should he get another chance?

We are both in our early 40's and had been dating for 9 years, after being friends for 3 years. I felt we were very solid from early on, and I have enjoyed live-in relationships in the past, but knew enough to be patient and not rush my interest in living together. After two years of dating that went very well, I began to express interest in putting our households together, but was always met with resistance, at worst, and profound ambivalence, at best. Somehow, 7 years went past and two months ago, I hit the wall and broke up with him, despite still loving him very much, because I felt there was no hope that he would ever move in. He immediately changed his tune, was eager to see me and impress upon me that he was in counseling, he'd changed and he wanted to be with me and move in with me and even marry me, if that's what it would take. I was hurt and infuriated, even, by what seemed like ridiculous claims, feeling that people don't change very much and if they do, it takes time and effort. So, I cut off all contact and have been pleasantly surprised by the fact that I am not devastated, like I feared I would be (which is probably a big reason why I put off the break-up for so long in th efirst place!). Nevertheless, I miss him and often wonder, if it is possible for him to have changed, or to be on the path of change enough so that I should give this another chance. I am not eager to "get back out there" and still very much appreciate the good things in our relationship -- basically, he gave me almost everything I wanted in a love relationship, expect for the living together/uninterrupted time together part. He is a very anxious person and I think this has a very big influence on how he felt about it.
By pandabear 9 years ago :: Dating
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