AM I WASTING MY TIME ,AM I BEING USED ,IS THIS MY FAULT

I have been with this guy for almost 4 years he has 2 kid that i spend a lot of time with i have done everything from attending school meetings to taking them to see the DR. he never takes me out ,never even give me a birthday gift ,he pays all living expenses in the house he has never told me he loves me when i ask he does not like to talk about it ,he drinks a lot of alcohol ,he spends time with his friends every saturday and he does not want to marry me ,he constantly picks fights with me to upset me i have lost my patience before and slapped him then he holds it against me and make everything my fault its like i am being provoked i know thats wrong and no excuse for this action but i am only human and can only take so much he speaks a different language so he talks to women on the phone any time and tell me its business . help me pleassssssse