Who is right when it comes to who comes first the parents or the wife and kids?

I am divorced from my exhusband. While married we build a home on a large farm. Repeatedly my motherinlaw wanted to build a house across the street. I told my ex it was not a good idea. She bought the land anyway and started building. She kept my husband "busy" at her house while building and after for 12 hours a day, leaving me and the two small kids home alone. (we lived in a foreign country = keep in mind) She would come over our house sometimes up to 5 times a day, unannounced, and summon my husband to drive her here and there. After a year of this I asked him to put an end to this. When he spoke to his mom she started fighting with him, giving him the cold shoulder etc. It eventually went back to the same ole' and I left my husband and returned to the states with our kids, ages 18mos and 5. Was I right or was he? He says I should have stayed no matter what and I say he should have put his wife and kids first.