my ex cheated, and she got full custody. see scenario,, sense Iv become fully disabled, what do i do?

my ex-wife made my live a unbelievable mess. I loved my wife with everything im made of,my children are my world, I was given a unreal support order, and after I was injured badly on the job, I must take morphine everyday just to function, yet the court in canada will, would not adjust my support order, so I paid what i could ,and I became way behind in total owed. now my children are all grown up, child support here in north carolina is driving me nuts for complete payment..my ex-wife works for the courts in canada and the man she had the affair with is a cop. I have nothing, no car, no money, im forced to live with my mom, sad huh? im not sure why child support is still on this,,isnt this now a civil matter now the kids are all grown up married and moved away?
It hurt me so bad that I have never been able to even date, and stayed single.
im a U.S. citizen, she is canadian. the story is a mile long, I just cant take much more, and have been thinking about just eating the jar of morphine. it seems noone cares. and workers comp. wont even pay what they owe. yet they know im perminitly disabled for the rest of my life. owe,I cant find a lawyer who will handle this...if anyone in this world has a idea on how I can get my life back, you might be saving my life...thank you ....Allan