Should I bail or not?

I have been married 3 years 2 mos. One and a half years into the marriage I found out my new wife had been in contact with an ex boyfriend from 20 years prior. This seems to have started about 3 months after we got married. The emails were not sexual but highly emotional on both ends. They both state that they love each other and miss one another....One one occassion my wife tells this guy " I miss you dearly and you are in my heart and dreams. I really know you are the love of my life, a lifetime, my friend and my soulmate" This is at seven months into our marriage. I found these emails and confronted my wife about communicating with this guy and she flat denied it without blinking or any inkling that she was lying.

We argued and talked for days and finally she said she loved me and that it was over between she and this fellow. She said she would not contact him any more. I decided to give it a go since I did love her and she was several months pregnant.

Well six weeks after I find half a dozen emails between them in which they are expousing there love for one another. My wife tells this guy 1)" I think of you often and dream of you", 2) " I too wonder how are children would have looked and how our lives would be. I am okay in my life and relationship but you will always have my heart" 3) You will always be my true love forever and eternity. I know that people would understand what we have but it is something so special. Even though you are with someone and I with another-I know our bond is strong and true. I miss you very much and love you dearly" Oh she is still pregnant with my child as this is going on.

I confront her and ask her again if she has been in contact with the guy in question. Again she denies it without blinking or any reaction whatsoever.

Needless to say the preverbial S**T hit the fan and I showed her copies of the emails and asked for an explanation. She blamed her actions on everything under the sun and these would change from day to day.

We saw a marriage counselor(s) for about 5 months and decided to give it another go. She convinced me and the shrink that she realized her problem and that really loved me.

About six months go by and things seem to have setlled. Then she starts emailing the same guy in secret from work. In addition she regularly emails to other ex's from 6-7 years ago and one from 18-20 years ago. I haven't done anything illegal regarding the emails, but I do have ways of keeping tabs on her communications.

I have asked her twice in the last several months whether she has been in contact with any of these guys specifically. Both times she flat denies it without any reaction whatsoever.

We do have a great little 1 year old baby boy. Complicates things, but I can't live with someone that is capable of treating me that way and lying to me.

Do you agree or not?
By mariner1 9 years ago :: Marriage
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