You are like a daughter to me....

My first job after graduation was over 4,000 miles away from my hometown and approx 12 years ago. After three months in a new town, I met one of the office assistants at the company I was working for. A lady with two daughters about my age and two kids about 12 - 15 years younger. She immediately invited me to have dinner with her family. We all had a great time and she invited me again and again. Six months later I was like part of the family and she was like "you are like a daughter to me" - "you are like my 5th child". Of course, I was happy to be welcome in this family, considering that I saw mine just maybe once a year for Thanksgiving.

I never really had too much contact with her older daughters as they were already living with boyfriends and engaged to be married soon after. The two little ones were like little siblings to me. I picked them up at school, helped them with homework, walk the dog with them, went camping, stayed with them while their parents were on a getaway weekend, stayed late when their mom was finishing some report to our division, etc, etc...

Her mom passed away and she got in a big legal fight with her sister over her mom's assets. According to the will she would have 2/3 of her mom's real estate and just 1/3 for the sister. At the same time she was swapped to another division on the same company and suddenly all invitations for dinner once a week stopped. The phone calls stopped. The homework helping stopped. The BBQ on weekends stopped. She simply started to avoid me. She saw me at the company, she would enter in the first opened door. She saw me in the parking lot, she would hide behing any SUV, she saw me at the market, she would wait behind the fruit stand until I was someplace else.

Soon after, I broke my leg, it got infected and was three months at home. No phone calls to see how I was doing. My boyfriend and my brother say that I should forget her, her family, her kids, her grandkids and move on. According to them, she has been using me all these years more like a babysitter to her younger children, who are almost 20 and 23 now and clearly do not need me anymore around them. My bf reminds me that I have never been invited to her daughters weddings, grandchildren baptism and/or to any Christmas, as I am not their blood.

Six weeks ago, I phoned her at the office and invited her down to the cafeteria. While holding a caffe latte, she drops the bomb... "you became an obligation in my life. I wish you the best, but forget me. Never call me again".

Needless to say I was devastated and have no idea how this happened. Again my bf says she might be bipolar and cyclical. As this is the same behavior she has with her ex husband and sister.

I love this lady. I love her family. For the past 12 years, this has been my family away from home. I know her passwords, I have the keys of her house. She will never replace my own mom, but with her I feel free to talk anything I want and share all that is going on in my soul. I feel she is my best female friend, even if her age is my mom's age.

Right now, I feel empty. It is like a part of myself that is missing. Physically I feel a hole in my chest and it hurts when I breath. I try to live life as usual, but I am broken hearted. My bf is wonderful, but this whole thing is not over a man that you can kind of move on and eventually find someone else. This was some sort of "foster family" to me.

Comments are more than welcome. Thank you very much.
By redsocks 9 years ago :: Family (Extended)
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