Does the woman I love know what she wants?

Ok, this is going to be long but I need to give a lot of background. I work as lawyer. Back in late 2003, in DC, I met a woman named Alison, who was working in my office. She was an intern at my law office. I was 32 and she was 20. (BTW - she did not report to me). She eventually went back to school and I eventually moved to the NY area. In 2006, she came to the City and I played tourguide for her. We were very intimate that nite. She was living in the midwest back then and she had just started seeing this guy out there.

She told me she wanted me to come to see her soon. But as soon as she got home she changed her mind and decided that shhe "had decided to stay with the other guy"

I tried to move on. Dated a number of women, but was never able to get Alison out of my head. We lost touch and barely spoke for a long. Then around mid-2007 we started talking on the phone. Once or twice a month. She moved to LA. Finally, last October, she was here in NY on business and we had dinner. And again in December, we did the same thing. Now I need to say at this time, that I have never for a moment not KNOWN in my heart that I love her. I also knew that she would eventually move here to NYC for her job.

Another point, she was still with the boyfriend who had not proposed to her...

She moved to NY in July but right before that, her boyfriend moved to the area (Long Island).

Anyway, in July I took her out and we had an amazing time and she kissed me and we kissed for a while. But then she stopped and said that "I have a boyfriend."

We've gone out a number of times since then (not as much as I would like since her job has her travelling 50+% of the time) and we've kissed since then and held hands on the one hand. She's told me many places that she would like to go with me and things that she'd like to do with me (i.e. the trapeze at Chelsea Pier). But last time, she told me this - she's just signed a new lease with her roommate for 14 months, but after those 14 months, she would be moving in with her boyfriend.

I've been around the block and have dated many women over the years... Yet I genuinely love her. Yet to me it seems like she doesn't know what she wants. Spending time with me, kissing me, holding hands, basically dating....and then she has this boyfriend who has not proposed to her in 3 1/2 years. And 14 months - that does not scream out to me that she's particularly in rush to be with him.

I apologize for the rambling nature of this post, and there are other details which would have made this post much longer, but I think that I've given everyone the most important details.

Thank you...
By Stonedog 9 years ago :: Dating
  • Robert Betancourt
    MA, Professional Counseling,Therapist
    Emotional Healing-25+ years experience in helping people find solutions that work. "one of the best therapists here" $2.49/minute
       4.93/5
  • Iain A. Morrison
    MA Psych Cert Ed.
    Loving attachment is probably the greatest source of our happiness - I can help if it is going wrong - or manage the hurt if its over $2.00/minute
       4.82/5
  • View More Experts
    15