Should I kill her?..............or have her killed?

Ok, sorry about the title (not really) but its been five years and I still feel anger over what happened.....am I wrong to feel hatred, bitterness and just plain ole anger at this person? I realize some things are my fault but I don't feel like I deserved what happened to me.

Here's what happened....but first let me say that I am and always have been against work relationships. However, I let myself slip and when I tried to correct myself and ease out of a situation...well, it got nasty.

I was going through some personal issues at home, divorce, money issues, legal issues, that sorta stuff and I met a woman at work and it started out as a cordial friendship....we worked for an airline and we both would go out on the road for several weeks at a time and it would get real lonely and boring so her and I started hanging out together. One thing led to another and against my better judgement we began a relationship that involved sex. It lasted about 4 months. We would only see each other when we were on the same schedule which didn't happen all that often. In real time, it was probably a two month encounter.

I finally got the nerve to tell her that I thought it was a bad idea for us to see each other and at first she was understanding but then she would see me on the road somewhere, maybe at the bar on layovers and finally one day she just snapped...she came to my room and demanded we resume our relationship, I emphaticly told her no and then she started hitting me.....I finally left my room and went for a walk with her still in my room but then she left a note telling me she was going to get even and other tort remarks...should have saved that note....after about 6 months I was told by a friend that she had been calling the company and filing complaints against me and then my ex finally told me she had called her...how she got the number would be a problem for her if I could have proved it....but she had been calling my ex telling her all about "us" and telling her she needs to call the company and file complaints against me. My ex told her to FO.....I finally had enough and I called her and told her to leave me alone or I would file charges against her. She had secretly recorded that conversation and turned it into HR and then they called me and played it back to me and asked it that was me....they then charged me with "threatoning another employee...." and fined me a months pay and put me on report.

Everthing calmed down for about six months but she was still planning something....I talked to a good friend of mine in management and he told me HR was building a case against me to terminate me....two weeks later my boss calls me on the phone and tells me I'm being terminated....for bs reasons no less.

So here its been 5 years and I still find it hard to get a job because of that...I don't trust anyone and I almost dislike women in general....(no, I'm not turning gay...lol) I don't like myself because of what that has done to me and my psychie....am I justified in my feelings? I wish I had the guts to put a bullet in her head....if I knew I could get away with it....until then all I can hope for is that she dies in a horrible way....
By Noonathome 9 years ago :: Bitter Ex
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