Am I wrong for discontinuing my relationship with my first cousin??
My first cousin(let's call her Tee) tried to cause problems in my marriage. Let me just give you the back story. It will be a little long bear with me....
My cousin and I have always been kind of close. We grew up living next door to one another. Our fathers are brothers and our mothers were close friends. Eventually my parents divorced and shortly after so did her parents. We still remained close and spent nights at each others homes.
I finally finished high school had a daughter and had my own apartment. She dropped out of high school in the 8th grade. When she turned 18 she asked if she could move in with me. I allowed her to come. She had a job at a fast food resturant. I never asked her for a dime in rent. I bought all the groceries and allowed her to eat. Her sister needed somewhere to live and I allowed her to live with me too. They didn't live there long and eventually met guys had one child each and moved on.
Tragically in 1996 both of their kids were killed in a car accident in which Tee was the driver. Tee's daughter was 15 months and her nephew was 4 years old.
Ok fast forward.... In 2005 I married my husband. In Feb. 09' 2 first cousins of mine on my mother's side of the family(let's call them K and Bee they are sisters) and I went out to dinner. My cousin K was getting married. When K arrived she had a girl with her that looked familiar to me. I finally remembered that I'd seen her before with Tee.
A few days later Tee called and I was telling her about the dinner and that I saw the girl with my cousin K. Tee then started to go on and on about the girl being divorced. She also said the girl didn't have custody of her children and that she was bisexual. She said that we really needed to be careful around the girl. That the girl made a move on one of her friends when they were alone. Ok I called Bee. I told her what Tee told me and that if she's ever with K again that I would make sure she didn't try me. I also told her to not mention it to K because K is known to fight when someone says something about her friends. She said she wouldn't but did tell K anyway. She even told her that Tee is the one that said it! The girl was furious because she said it was all lies! She started texting Tee calling her all kinds of names and making threats to her.
Tee didn't know who the texts were from because she didn't know the number. Tee knew a policeman and had him to find out who the number belonged to. When she did find out she called me. I didn't catch her call but tried to call her back and she wouldn't answer. Ok the next day she calls B at work and tells her all sorts of lies about me being a snake in the grass and how I hated her and her daughter! B's daughter was at my house every single day and I picked her up from school everyday! How could I hate her? She told her every single lie she could tell her. Bee didn't listen but called me and told me.
That wasn't enough for her...she then called my husband on his job! She told him about what was going on. Which he already knew cause I told him. Then she told him about a trick I played on my husband before we were married. He already knew about it because I came clean with him shortly after I did it. She got quiet because she didn't know that he knew. She then said there are a lot of things I could tell you about her, she has a lot of skeletons in her closet! He was at work and told her he couldn't stay on the phone. She then said take down my number cause I have a lot to tell you about her past. He said that he thought about it and figured that she didn't mean him any good. He said if she could do her relative that way then he didn't want to talk to her. And he also said why did she wait until now when she's angry to try to HELP him out by telling him something? He didn't call her. I guess that made her angry.
She then started to text me back to back saying mean things about me. She said I was trash that's why noone in her family cares for me. I finally texted her and said that we are cousins and our fathers would be ashamed. She stopped texting me for a while. The next day she texted and said she was sorry and that she was just angry. I don't have any ill feelings toward her. I forgive but will never forget. I didn't see her for months after. I finally saw her in a store and she spoke and acted like nothing ever happened. She then started back calling me . Whenever she calls I will chat for a minute but will pretend like I have something to do just to get off the phone. I don't think our relationship can ever go back to the way it was. I don't offer any info of what is going on in my home or anyone else I know to her. I learned my lesson with her. I think that was very spiteful of her to do what she did. I would never in a million years call one of her BFs and tell them anything that I know about her. Trust me there are plenty things I could tell too. I don't want her at my home at all. If she could do that before who knows what else she can pull. She is lonely and miserable. She lives alone but has 20 to 30 men that she dates and sleeps with them all! But she had the nerve to call me lonely and miserable? The nerve of some people. I can never get over the hurtful things she said about me out of anger. She even said I have too many kids and she doesn't see how my husband stays with me. What about her she has none! Could she be jealous of the fact that her child was taken away but I get to have kids and nothing happens to my kids? I don't know...but my question is Am I right for distancing myself from this destructive evil woman?
My cousin and I have always been kind of close. We grew up living next door to one another. Our fathers are brothers and our mothers were close friends. Eventually my parents divorced and shortly after so did her parents. We still remained close and spent nights at each others homes.
I finally finished high school had a daughter and had my own apartment. She dropped out of high school in the 8th grade. When she turned 18 she asked if she could move in with me. I allowed her to come. She had a job at a fast food resturant. I never asked her for a dime in rent. I bought all the groceries and allowed her to eat. Her sister needed somewhere to live and I allowed her to live with me too. They didn't live there long and eventually met guys had one child each and moved on.
Tragically in 1996 both of their kids were killed in a car accident in which Tee was the driver. Tee's daughter was 15 months and her nephew was 4 years old.
Ok fast forward.... In 2005 I married my husband. In Feb. 09' 2 first cousins of mine on my mother's side of the family(let's call them K and Bee they are sisters) and I went out to dinner. My cousin K was getting married. When K arrived she had a girl with her that looked familiar to me. I finally remembered that I'd seen her before with Tee.
A few days later Tee called and I was telling her about the dinner and that I saw the girl with my cousin K. Tee then started to go on and on about the girl being divorced. She also said the girl didn't have custody of her children and that she was bisexual. She said that we really needed to be careful around the girl. That the girl made a move on one of her friends when they were alone. Ok I called Bee. I told her what Tee told me and that if she's ever with K again that I would make sure she didn't try me. I also told her to not mention it to K because K is known to fight when someone says something about her friends. She said she wouldn't but did tell K anyway. She even told her that Tee is the one that said it! The girl was furious because she said it was all lies! She started texting Tee calling her all kinds of names and making threats to her.
Tee didn't know who the texts were from because she didn't know the number. Tee knew a policeman and had him to find out who the number belonged to. When she did find out she called me. I didn't catch her call but tried to call her back and she wouldn't answer. Ok the next day she calls B at work and tells her all sorts of lies about me being a snake in the grass and how I hated her and her daughter! B's daughter was at my house every single day and I picked her up from school everyday! How could I hate her? She told her every single lie she could tell her. Bee didn't listen but called me and told me.
That wasn't enough for her...she then called my husband on his job! She told him about what was going on. Which he already knew cause I told him. Then she told him about a trick I played on my husband before we were married. He already knew about it because I came clean with him shortly after I did it. She got quiet because she didn't know that he knew. She then said there are a lot of things I could tell you about her, she has a lot of skeletons in her closet! He was at work and told her he couldn't stay on the phone. She then said take down my number cause I have a lot to tell you about her past. He said that he thought about it and figured that she didn't mean him any good. He said if she could do her relative that way then he didn't want to talk to her. And he also said why did she wait until now when she's angry to try to HELP him out by telling him something? He didn't call her. I guess that made her angry.
She then started to text me back to back saying mean things about me. She said I was trash that's why noone in her family cares for me. I finally texted her and said that we are cousins and our fathers would be ashamed. She stopped texting me for a while. The next day she texted and said she was sorry and that she was just angry. I don't have any ill feelings toward her. I forgive but will never forget. I didn't see her for months after. I finally saw her in a store and she spoke and acted like nothing ever happened. She then started back calling me . Whenever she calls I will chat for a minute but will pretend like I have something to do just to get off the phone. I don't think our relationship can ever go back to the way it was. I don't offer any info of what is going on in my home or anyone else I know to her. I learned my lesson with her. I think that was very spiteful of her to do what she did. I would never in a million years call one of her BFs and tell them anything that I know about her. Trust me there are plenty things I could tell too. I don't want her at my home at all. If she could do that before who knows what else she can pull. She is lonely and miserable. She lives alone but has 20 to 30 men that she dates and sleeps with them all! But she had the nerve to call me lonely and miserable? The nerve of some people. I can never get over the hurtful things she said about me out of anger. She even said I have too many kids and she doesn't see how my husband stays with me. What about her she has none! Could she be jealous of the fact that her child was taken away but I get to have kids and nothing happens to my kids? I don't know...but my question is Am I right for distancing myself from this destructive evil woman?
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