Is bf lying about watching porn ok?
My bf and I have a long history. We are highschool sweethearts that went our separate ways, have recently reconnected (after 15 years) and have been in a serious relationship for the past 3 years. We both see each other as soulmates and feel that we connect on a level that we haven't felt with any other person.
We both agree that we have a great sex life and are very open with one another about trying new things. In fact, we both have a higher than average sex drive.
Over the past 3 years, I have caught him having phone sex (only 1 time - never again after that) and watching/ordering porn. When confronted, he always initially denies it, makes excuses and lies to my face.
I am not opposed to him watching porn on occasion... just not on a regular basis. I also enjoy watching porn occassionally and am not opposed to watching it with him.
The last time we discussed the "porn issue", we came to a compromise. He agreed to be open about watching porn and not lie to me about it and try to include me.
Just today, I found (after he initially lied about it-again) that he has been subscribing to the Playboy channel (the channel was on at 9 am this morning!). He also confirmed that he "locks" the channel when I come over so I can't "stumble" across it. All just to "avoid my reaction and subsequent discussion about it".
As I mentioned, he and I have a long history. He is aware of my background - including being sexually abused as a child. He knows that trust can be difficult for me.
Should I just accept the fact that he is going to secretively watch porn? Is this normal? What am I doing wrong? Is the relationship worth working on or is it hopeless? Help! I love him with all my heart but feel I can't trust him and that porn is more important than our relationship
We both agree that we have a great sex life and are very open with one another about trying new things. In fact, we both have a higher than average sex drive.
Over the past 3 years, I have caught him having phone sex (only 1 time - never again after that) and watching/ordering porn. When confronted, he always initially denies it, makes excuses and lies to my face.
I am not opposed to him watching porn on occasion... just not on a regular basis. I also enjoy watching porn occassionally and am not opposed to watching it with him.
The last time we discussed the "porn issue", we came to a compromise. He agreed to be open about watching porn and not lie to me about it and try to include me.
Just today, I found (after he initially lied about it-again) that he has been subscribing to the Playboy channel (the channel was on at 9 am this morning!). He also confirmed that he "locks" the channel when I come over so I can't "stumble" across it. All just to "avoid my reaction and subsequent discussion about it".
As I mentioned, he and I have a long history. He is aware of my background - including being sexually abused as a child. He knows that trust can be difficult for me.
Should I just accept the fact that he is going to secretively watch porn? Is this normal? What am I doing wrong? Is the relationship worth working on or is it hopeless? Help! I love him with all my heart but feel I can't trust him and that porn is more important than our relationship
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