Is there any point in staying together?
Hi all..
I am having problems with my boyfriend of 1 1/2 years, basically when we got together it was great and we never fought at all. Then about 6-7 months in, we would have an argument once in a while. And then more frequently. Now its got to the stage where we are either fighting or in the recovery stage, it just keeps going on and on, and always the same issues. I recently said I cant do this anymore, the fighting is killing me, and we didnt speak for a few days. When we talked I said ok lets work on this but for me this is the last chance... within a week, we had another argument, and I said thats it, i cant do this. I went to his place thinking maybe i should get my things, we tried to talk but it just ended up in fighting again, so i packed my things and he got really mad and slammed the door as i left. I sat in my car crying, then he comes out and says "do you want a hug?" and i just said "how can you be like that? one minute you're fighting with me like cats and dogs then you want to hug me? this isn't a game" and since then, i mean i assume we are broken up, but 1 week later he will ring me and say hey how are you, how's your day, do you want to go out... basically pretend like nothing ever happened and we're still together! Don't get me wrong, I absolutely love this guy and want to be with him, but the communication breakdown is so bad, it feels like his response is to avoid talking about ANYTHING relationship related because we know how it will turn out, whereas I feel like a fraud not addressing anything because i know we'll just be back together for a few days and then it will happen again...
When we broke up i suggested seeing a counselor or doing some kind of communication course because i feel it is impossible for us to have discussions about the relationship without it turning into a fight. he agreed at first but doesn't want to now, saying its private and we should be able to sort it out without a third party... his opinion basically is that its worth being together even if we are fighting... my opinion is i love him so so much but where do i draw the line? i dont like being in such a turbulent relationship, i mean i know couples argue but i would think we shouldn't be doing it on a weekly basis...
Any opinions? Thanks :)
I am having problems with my boyfriend of 1 1/2 years, basically when we got together it was great and we never fought at all. Then about 6-7 months in, we would have an argument once in a while. And then more frequently. Now its got to the stage where we are either fighting or in the recovery stage, it just keeps going on and on, and always the same issues. I recently said I cant do this anymore, the fighting is killing me, and we didnt speak for a few days. When we talked I said ok lets work on this but for me this is the last chance... within a week, we had another argument, and I said thats it, i cant do this. I went to his place thinking maybe i should get my things, we tried to talk but it just ended up in fighting again, so i packed my things and he got really mad and slammed the door as i left. I sat in my car crying, then he comes out and says "do you want a hug?" and i just said "how can you be like that? one minute you're fighting with me like cats and dogs then you want to hug me? this isn't a game" and since then, i mean i assume we are broken up, but 1 week later he will ring me and say hey how are you, how's your day, do you want to go out... basically pretend like nothing ever happened and we're still together! Don't get me wrong, I absolutely love this guy and want to be with him, but the communication breakdown is so bad, it feels like his response is to avoid talking about ANYTHING relationship related because we know how it will turn out, whereas I feel like a fraud not addressing anything because i know we'll just be back together for a few days and then it will happen again...
When we broke up i suggested seeing a counselor or doing some kind of communication course because i feel it is impossible for us to have discussions about the relationship without it turning into a fight. he agreed at first but doesn't want to now, saying its private and we should be able to sort it out without a third party... his opinion basically is that its worth being together even if we are fighting... my opinion is i love him so so much but where do i draw the line? i dont like being in such a turbulent relationship, i mean i know couples argue but i would think we shouldn't be doing it on a weekly basis...
Any opinions? Thanks :)
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