Should I accomodate my family for my wedding or do what I want?

I'm having a same-sex wedding and we wanted to invite my extended family. One problem is they are older and live in one state I live 3 states away. I know my immediate family would come no matter where I have it..but I don't want to move the wedding to another state only to have my extend family not show.

Another problem is they are still getting use to the idea of me being gay. They seem ok with it an they like my girlfriend..but I don't know how they feel about the whole gay marriage thing. But at the same time I know I'll catch hell for not inviting them.

So I'm sending out invites to all but I need to figure out where to have it...Where I live or where they live.