Is it fair for a husband to stay up all night playing video games and sleeps all day?

I have been married to my husband for over 2 and half yrs, we fight about the same things over and over, money, his game playing and his lack of not helping around the home. He can't work because of his panic attacks, so he feels he has the right to play online games and sit on the computer from 3pm when he wakes up till around 4-6am when I nag at him to come to bed. We freelance photography, and I have to beg for him to get the pictures done, I have to beg for him to help me with the house and his step children. We live off of my income, which isnt much, so it doesn't allow us to do much. Which he complains about being stuck in the house and justifies for him playing video games or surfin the net ignoring the family. We dont have a car and my mom lives with us, so we use her truck when needed. But he has a habit of drinking and driving (yea ticks me off my grandpa was killed my a drunk driver), we got into a fight 3 months ago, he broke my mom's truck's windshield, so my mom doesn't let him use the truck too much which he feels he is entitled to use it anyway. I do everything, I cook, clean, pay bills, run errands, take care of my kids and the pets and plus. He only does things when asked and I usually have to ask more then once. I have hit the wall, I have done everything that I can think of to make this marriage work, and its not working. I feel very trapped. I want a separation, maybe a divorce. He has a temper, so whenever I "nag" or complain about whatever he does that bothers me, we fight for a min and then he breaks something to make it stop, which usually does and I walk away bitter. He feels that I think he cant do anything right and I am trying to control him. Which isn't true, I just want a partner, someone to help. I feel like a single mom still, expect I have a dramatic over grown child as my husband. We have gone to marriage counseling, just in the end for him to leave me, this was last year. Then we made up and keep fighting about the same ol' song and dance. I am so emotionally exhausted. My question is, I hope more men will answer this, what makes him think he has the right to treat me this way, tells me he loves me, yet has no problem for me to do everything and wants a pat on the back when he takes out the trash? Also, what makes him have the right to think its ok to stay up all night long playing video games and sleep all day? Am I wrong? I thought when you get married, you give up your rights of putting yourself first?
By Bittenbutterfly 9 years ago :: Marriage
  • Milton Mankoff
    Ph.D.; LMSW
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