Should I Stay or Leave?

I guess my username says it all.

I’ve been seeing this guy for the past 4 years. We got engaged some time early last month, and due to get married October next year.

The thing is although he is all gentle, loving, caring and charming; there is a part of him that’s always out to hurt me – directly or indirectly. I’m starting to think that he has some psychiatric problems. He’s somewhat a pathological liar.

Sometimes I get so confused; I don’t really know what’s true or false anymore. Because of this, I find it hard to trust him. He lies over things which truths do not hurt. Sometimes the lies are so incredible, I actually felt embarrassed for him. Other times I wonder if he thinks I was born yesterday that I would believe the things he said.

Another problem is he craves for attention. We meet almost everyday. Other than those times I am at work or asleep, he gets my undivided attention. However, he seeks thrill in finding solace with others. He is addicted to getting to know other girls. Although he does not really meet up with others, he goes out of his way to keep in touch with other girls. These girls obviously have no clue what he is really like. They seem to think of him as the ultimate guy who has it all from the impressions he gave them.

I have no qualms if he just wants to make friends. The thing about him is that he is easily drawn to others who give him the attention. He constantly needs to be reassured that someone cares. So by having his so-called online networking, he somewhat thinks he is treasured and appreciated.

He also has inferior complexity and low self-esteem. To others he seems like the life of a party, always making others laugh, and displaying a façade of a likeable character. With me, he feels small because I happen to have a higher education level, and earn double than what he does. While I have no issues about status, whenever we argue he will accused me of looking down on him which is so not true, or I would have long walk away when he was homeless and jobless.

In order to make himself feels better about his self-worth, he lives a double life. It’s like having a split personality. He exaggerates to make himself looks good, even though there are people like me who know that he is just making it all up.

I have considered leaving him many times, but I find myself back with him again after a couple of days. It’s difficult having a relationship with someone you don’t even trust at all. I know there is a good guy inside of him, but sometimes his negative and pessimistic ways really drive me up the wall.

You know how often we make excuses for our loved ones even though we know they are no good for us. I love him a lot, and I believe he does love me too, but sometimes I just feel like I’ve had enough. Everyday I think about if I should stay or leave. Though I know for the sake of my own sanity, I’m better off without him, I simply just could not walk out. Please advise. Thanks.



By LoVeFoOL 9 years ago :: Dating
  • Iain A. Morrison
    MA Psych Cert Ed.
    Loving attachment is probably the greatest source of our happiness - I can help if it is going wrong - or manage the hurt if its over $2.00/minute
       4.82/5
  • Robert Betancourt
    MA, Professional Counseling,Therapist
    Emotional Healing-25+ years experience in helping people find solutions that work. "one of the best therapists here" $2.49/minute
       4.93/5
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