My girlfriend frequently creates drama out of thin air !

Hello,

I'm not sure if this is a common issue or not, but I really need your valuable inputs on my issue.

I've been dating this girl for about six months now. She's a wonderful person, kind, smart, good looking, and all that good stuff. We're really having a great time. BUT, the more we got closer to each other the more she seems to get demanding and really angry at me for suuper small things taken out of context.

Here I have to say that we don't live together, and we're not in a marriage-like kind of relationship for her to keep a tab on me at all times. So that being said I wonder, how come, at times, she would grab on to something so small and cling to it saying things meant to point out how much I don't care about her, how selfish I am, how I'm neglecting her, etc.

Naturally, there's no way you'd know this is not true because probably any guy out there thinks that he's treating his GF in a good manner. However, for the sake of this discussion, let's assume that I'm a good partner and I don't cause the big issues I'm accused of.

To illustrate what I have in mind when referring to her being a drama queen I'll use the latest example:

We work totally different timings, so when I'm at work she's at home and vice versa. We stay in touch through IMs. What happened last when we talked over such IM was me telling her I'm not gonna be able to reply to her for a few moments because I'm gonna be having my dinner (in the office) I just brought in.

Next thing you know, she's all up in flame, accusing me of being arrogant and selfish because I "ditched" her when she wanted to talk to me. I didn't see that as such because while IM-ing one isn't quite obliged to be there 100% of the time, + I have the right to eat my fast food before it turns into plastic, + I was hungry + so what if I'm absent for 5 minutes.

Here are a couple of things I think are in the foundation of her behaviour:

She always wants me "to talk to her". Whenever she's at home/office and bored, she'd page me saying "talk to me, I'm bored". This was the case that same night, i.e. her seeking attention. Here, in the case of me not being able to provide that, she turns red and bursts out, either to attract some attention or/and simply venting because I "left" her when she wanted to talk to me (which is more or less the same thing).

To comment on that, I need some space and I can't be excepted to entertain her 100% of the time when I'm online. Doh, that's why we hang out at clubs, movies, diners, etc.

Another thing I was thinkg, which is kinda self-flattering but quite true, is the fact that we both enojy our relationship very much, and want it to last. Because of that she seems to question every single thing on a molecular level, just so that she can be self-assured everything is the way she wants it to be. From derives her attitude of always complaining about me when I don't "perform" to her expectations.

I'm not quite sure that this attitude is caused by the fact our relationship has been exhausted because it's quite fresh and we both have a lot of salt to eat for it to get there (assume that for a fact).


To generalize, she turns my words and actions upside down and out of context and uses that to blame me for being a bad partner. In my gut I feel the only reason is Attention Seeking.

Now, I can deal with that in two ways:

1) Confront her about that, and explain to her I'm not gonna put up with that because she really makes general deductions about me based on chit-chat; mention she's really busting my balls, because as mentioned, I can't be there for her 100% of the time because she's bored. I've needs too you know.

2) Ignore the whole thing and thus "coach" her into understanding this kinda attitude doesn't fly with me.




Well, thanks for ready my story and I'll be waiting for your inputs.

Regards
By ClumsyLeo 9 years ago :: Dating
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