Do lifestyle expectations ever fully change for a woman, to the point that she can be happy?
I make decent money ( $130,000/year) but I'm not rich. I am pretty generous (in my eyes) with my money for my gf. We go to an expensive restaurant once a week. For Christmas, I spent over $2000 for a necklace for her. I have only been going out with her for 7 months. I also bought her a $4,000 Chanel bag early in the relationship. I didn't want to, but basically she asked me for one and I said "yes", thinking to myself that I would get it on her birthday or something. She, however, expected it that week, and threatened to break up with me if I didn't get it. FInally, on her birthday, most girls get a birthday dinner....she got a vacation to the Caribbean, paid by me of course. Meanwhile, my savings is dipping for the first time in my life, and I don't like it.
You may be wondering why I'm still with her. Well, here's why....I ended up breaking up with her over it a while ago. She was being too demanding and I said screw it. She ended up begging me to take her back. Since then, whenever she asks for something I can't afford, I just say "no" and that's that. She has said that she is ok with it now, and doesn't demand anything. However, she keeps asking me to get a new job and ask me what my ambitions are. I don't want to sound like a loser with no ambitions, but I think I am doing just fine.
Anyway, this is the problem. Her parents are loaded. She is used to a certain lifestyle from her dad. Now, I could care less how much her parents have and I don't want a penny of it. What I am concerned about is whether or not she can accept not having that kind of money for the rest of her life. In a way, I can't fault her. If I were asked to downgrade my standard of living, I don't think it's that easy to do. Also, she is trying. From where we started to where she is now, she is more reasonable. Unfortunately, the only way I can get her to change is to break up with her when she is being a spoiled brat.
Is there hope here? I don't want to spend the rest of my life trying to live up to a standard of living that I don't even feel is necessary. I also don't want a wife who always feels that she took a step down in life. Finally, I am worried that she's just changing to keep me, and if we get married, she will revert back.
You may be wondering why I'm still with her. Well, here's why....I ended up breaking up with her over it a while ago. She was being too demanding and I said screw it. She ended up begging me to take her back. Since then, whenever she asks for something I can't afford, I just say "no" and that's that. She has said that she is ok with it now, and doesn't demand anything. However, she keeps asking me to get a new job and ask me what my ambitions are. I don't want to sound like a loser with no ambitions, but I think I am doing just fine.
Anyway, this is the problem. Her parents are loaded. She is used to a certain lifestyle from her dad. Now, I could care less how much her parents have and I don't want a penny of it. What I am concerned about is whether or not she can accept not having that kind of money for the rest of her life. In a way, I can't fault her. If I were asked to downgrade my standard of living, I don't think it's that easy to do. Also, she is trying. From where we started to where she is now, she is more reasonable. Unfortunately, the only way I can get her to change is to break up with her when she is being a spoiled brat.
Is there hope here? I don't want to spend the rest of my life trying to live up to a standard of living that I don't even feel is necessary. I also don't want a wife who always feels that she took a step down in life. Finally, I am worried that she's just changing to keep me, and if we get married, she will revert back.
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