Was I wrong to refuse a 40th birthday party from a new love to be respectful of a very recent Ex?

A year ago I was reunited with a guy that I truly loved over 13 years ago. It ended badly all of those years ago and we never spoke in the interim. Upon reconnecting, he was in a very bad marriage with an 8 year old daughter and I was living with a boyfriend of 2 and half years. Over the past year, (I'll call him S) S and I rekindled our love and had an affair with the common goal of ending our existing relationships to be with one another. Days before the one year mark, his soon to be ex-wife moved out and my now ex-boyfriend moved out. It is worth mentioning that my relationship was not "bad" with my ex but it wasn't "right" either. Upon his moving out---it wasn't ugly, just sad and we remain friends of sorts. It will be my 40th birthday in 2 weeks---which would be approximately 3 and half weeks after my ex moved out. S mentioned wanting to throw me a party with all of my friends and I declined, stating that it was too soon to to throw salt in the wound of my ex, that it would be disrespectful and that the timing just wasn't good. He took this very hard and feels that I am choosing my ex over him. It has caused quite a bit of "disarray" between us and he is insistent that I am being disrespectful to him in my refusal. Was I wrong?
By BunnyLove 8 years ago :: Dating
  • Robert Betancourt
    MA, Professional Counseling,Therapist
    Emotional Healing-25+ years experience in helping people find solutions that work. "one of the best therapists here" $1.99/minute
  • Rafael Morales
    I have extensive training and expertise in clinical, counseling, transpersonal/integral psychology and coaching. I provide support to those willing to work on themselves… $2.75/minute
  • View More Experts