Did I make the biggest mistake of my life by moving?

I was born in Ontario and have lived there all my life. My boyfriend of three years is from British Columbia. He moved to Ontario when he was in high school. We met when he was 20 and I was 18. We started seeing each other exclusively right away. We talked about getting a dog together and after our one year mark he surprised me with my very own dog. I got my dog when she was six months old so I spent a great deal of time caring for her. I started to see him less and he would complain. After two months things went back to normal, I was seeing him as often as I use to before he got me the dog.

Three years later he decided to move back to British Columbia because of a career opportunity (that was in February 2009) and asked me to move in with him.

What you have to understand is that I'm only 21 years old live in a good home with great parents who if they could have it their way would want me to live with them forever. I've never cooked, clean, or taken out the garbage. I'm the youngest of three and you can say I'm EXTREMELY spoiled. Him? Well he moved out at a very young age, got mixed up in the wrong crowd but thankfully is getting his life back on track. Has a very stable and legit career.

He is a very loving boyfriend. He is loyal to his friends and family however extremely rude to those he does not know. He has "emotionally" cheated on me before and on top of take kept in contact with his ex-girlfriend behind my back. We were apart for six months (him in B.C., and me in Toronto) I found e-mails of him telling his ex-coworker how he loves her and would love to date her and "too bad" he's already in a relationship. They both planned for her to come to B.C. to visit and stay for two weeks and J said "if I'm not already here". She (Louisanne) suggested maybe she should rent a chalet near the mountains and J can come spend the week.

When I confronted him he just denied it and later confessed and blew up on me swearing (which he never has before) at me. He said it was all my fault because I didn't want to move in with him from the beginning. He had asked me three months into the relationship and I denied him. How I found out about his secret meetings with his ex-girlfriend was one day he was wearing a near cologne. When I went to hug him I smelt something really awful and asked him when he bought the new cologne. He said he didn't and I said I didn't buy it for him. He had a slip-up and I dragged the truth out from him. He later confessed that his ex-girlfriend bought it for him and I asked how he got it, he said she sent it. But I questioned him HOW she got his address and phone number since he moved and changed his cell phone number. He just confessed.

Not only that but we were fighting a lot so one time a random girl texted him and he asked me to check who the message was from. I said the number was not logged into his cellphone and it said "tonight 10?". I called the unknown number back and long story short; it was a girl he use to screw around with. He called her out hoping to can get a good f... because he complained how lately I haven't been putting out.

What the hell? We've been fighting about his ex-girlfriend and his secret meetings with her and he expects me to put out?

Was I wrong to use sex to punish him?

Right now I'm living with him in British Columbia. Despite all his dumb mistakes and actions, I decided to overlook it all. I have no friends or family here. I spend all my time with my dog and J. I take my dog out for walks 3-5 times a day because I have nothing to do for the time being. One day J got really upset and started to take it out on my or shall I say "our" dog. Day after day it escalated to the point where my dog would be tooo scared to even leave her crate to pee and end up peeing in her own bed. She would never do that, she has always been extremely intelligent and is 'housebroken'.

One evening she was in so much pain from the abuse she kept whining hoping that I'd hear her to carry her and bring her outside to use the washroom. He woken from his sleep and took a bat to her head. I was terrified because he threatened that if I got up to tend to her he'd hit her even harder. I did not realize that he was using a bat to hit her.

The next day I woke up really early to see how my baby was doing and to my knowledge she was BADLY hurt. I was crying and crying and decided to send my baby back to Ontario to live with my parents.

I knew I shouldn't have brought her to British Columbia because J is very jealous. He doesn't like it when I show my dog more affection than I show towards him.

I just needed to vent and heard about this website so I decided to create an account and hear other people's opinion.

SOMETIMES I wished I never moved. I miss my family, friends and home. Some nights I would cry in bed and he does not understand. He yells at me and says, "are you stupid? are your parents dead? is your house gone? why are you so childish! You don't want to grow up or something?" I find it extremely rude, he doesn't understand because he doesn't have a family or home. He is what he makes himself out to be.

I don't believe he'd ever hit me even though he has been abusive to my dog. I could be wrong. I've never been in an abusive relationship before.

Please comment.

By aluu 9 years ago :: Dating
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