Question for men, especially...am I overreacting?

I'm engaged to a guy I met online almost 2 years ago. I love him and we make a great couple...want the same things, same values, lots of chemistry, etc.

When we met, I was totally into him and stopped dating others immediately. I thought he had done the same. He told me on our first date that he didn't want to see anyone else, and I took that at face value. I've never dated more than one person at a time, so I didn't think anything of it.

About a month after our engagement (several months ago), I found out that he had slept with an ex-girlfriend about 2 months into our relationship, and had continued his online dating memberships for a couple of months, too. (Yes, I snooped. Yes, I regret it.) At the time, he hadn't told me that he loved me yet, and we had never really had an official discussion of our relationship.

When I asked him about it, he told me that he regretted sleeping with his ex (and I had found emails from right after it happened telling HER that it was a mistake and that he wanted to move forward with me). After those emails were sent (2 months into our relationship), he did not contact her again. I also know (with proof) that his online accounts were deactivated around the same time. He told me he loved me a few weeks later and I have no reason to believe that any other "shady" things have taken place since then.

Part of me knows that this happened VERY early in our relationship, but part of me feels like he lied to me. It's affected my trust for him. Aside from this one "slip-up," though, I don't have any other reason NOT to trust him. He's always home when he says he will be, doesn't go out "with the boys," puts me first, etc. Am I totally overreacting? Should I just get over it?
By scoop23 8 years ago :: Dating
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