I'm my exaggerating to think that my fiance mom is controlling?

Love my fiance, can't wait for us to have a family. I'm really afraid that in this relationship his mom will be controlling him and our family. I feel he tends to want to please on a lot of things. I understand he is her only son and he loves his mother. The following are the things that make me go hmmm is he going to marry me but she will be dictating the things that he should and shouldn't do.
-due to his job, he moved to another country. I was suppose to marry and move there but now I'm not so sure if even is going to happen.
Well he was packing to move his mother told him that he should only take 5 shirts, undershirts, pants and socks that he should wash them wear the same things the following week. I said to him you work in office you need more than that. So we packed everything he wanted. We stepped out of the house to run some errands; came back to the house to find her upset telling him...."you have to many things in your luggage, you don't need all of it" and she went on to say"why are you taking 6toothpaste and those 3lotions you don't need all them take some of them out". So, he said to me...hey honey you did a great job at packing but I think my mom is right I'm going to check what I have in this luggages. So he took stuff and then says to his mom "hey mom you were right, I took all these things out" and she says "yes thats good because what you need to do is wash". I feel he should have nicely said to his mom, I'm going to take these things because I need them.
-We get in the car and she is ways telling where to turn and which highway to take.
-We went to get my ring cleaned and I'm looking at some of the jewelry and I said (I was just kidding I don't anything because he is in debt) when I get pregnant and after i'm done pushing with the baby I want this and then I said oh look at this bracelet and he says yeah its nice I was looking at it for my mom. It hurt me because it make me feel like he doesn't concentrate on us.
-his lawyer tells him to create and excel spreadsheet for his rental property and his mom sits right next to us tells him no you need to put this column here and that one there and blah blah. He tells her okay mom I will change it. Let me just say my fiance is very smart man. He has a good position at a global company so he knows very well how to create a an excel spreadsheet. I wish that nicely he could have said to his mom, hey mom don't worry.
-he buys me a coach bag for xmas so he also buys her one.
-he ask me if it was okay for us take his mom along with us out to eat on Valentines Day. I said no we could take her out another time. So we did, the next day we went out with his mother out to eat then to the movies. Now granted I know he leaves in another country and misses her and she doesnt have any other family. But what bugs me is that he came here in February to surprise me because our birthday and of course valentines day is on that month so it really bother me eventhough I did not show that to him he would suggest if we can bring his mother out to eat with us on valentines day.
-On xmas of this year he was here for 2.5weeks so we went to eat with his mother. He ask for a salad which was huge so we were eating she did not want any and as I am about to pour the dressing she tells me not to poured all over the salad because it will get soggy, really got me heated but I held it inside. I'm thinking i will the salad anyway I want to, why does she need to say anything, eat what you order and mind your own business.
-another time we out to eat with her again my boyfriend says his going to order a chocolate cake;she tells him why are going to order a chocolate cake when you already have Lindt chocolate at home. Again why the need to say anything to my fiance;if he wants to eat chocolate cake,then so be it.
-When he proposed to me we showed the ring and he mentioned to her that myself and him had to sit down to make out the list. I said a very small one. She said oh no he has a lot of friends that must be invited. I did not say anything but I felt like telling her>>>who wedding is this yours or mine? I want a small wedding because because my fiance has a lot credit card debt plus I rather have a small wedding so we can use the money to be invested versus feeding 160 people at a wedding.
- I was going to study for 5 weeks abroad he tells me oh im going to go with you because you have never been to that country plus we can go sightseeing before you start your class. So I loved the idea and really looking forward to that. Later he tells I was thinking if you can go by yourself so that can have my fly over to be with me for 2 weeks. This really hurt because he wanted to cancel our plans to fly her over to the country in which he is residing right now. I told him how that made feel and he said okay I'm sorry will do we originally planned. I dont think he should even thought about changing our plans for his mother.

I don't know what to think or do. I tell him, he is mother puppet and she is pulling his strings every way she wants. He says no if was like that he not moved to another country or he would have chosen the career that she want him to do. I'm scare because if this are minor things that I have gone through is she going to meddle with other major things between him and I and his going to always want to put her first. I feel that this relationship is made of him,his mother and thennnn me.
I wish that he would nicely and I say nicely because I would never want for him to be rude to his mother and I would never want for him to turn his back on his mother. Like I said he is the only child that she has, she has no other family but I just wish that he would not act so obsessed with his mother and to firmly and nicely put his foot down.

By jrrc 8 years ago :: Family (Extended)
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