Devastating Love Triangle. My ex, my boyfriend, my best friend, my coworker and me. Please Help!
This is no short story, but I can try. 5 Months ago me boyfriend and I broke up. He cheated on me with our best friends finance. We were together for 3 years. We lived together for 2yrs and where moving to the next step when he lost his mind and made the biggest mistake he could. With so much going on we decided to end our relationship. He never saw the girl again and we 3 all remained friends, amazingly enough. We just made it work. Whatever it took. We both moved out of our apartment and Me and "A" still have lunch almost every week.
When everything was going on I relied heavily on my friends. My best girlfriend. My buddy who was also going through it, with the cheating finace. And my buddy from work who had been my best friend for a year, "B". One night me and my buddy "B" got drunk and slept together. We had been fighting our attraction to one another for months. He was drunk enough to confess to me that I "drove him crazy, Always had," he went on tell me how he's wanted me since the first time he saw me but respected me too much to push. It was easy for me to ignore him before, not that he made moves on me but you could tell. With it all out in the open. It was a skip and jump to every night. The chemistry was intense , which was no surprise since we had become instant friends.
We agreed the timing wasnt right, we worked together, i was still close with my ex- we had just broken up. We talked about everything. At first we kind of just limited it to sex but....it was like we couldnt help ourselves. It jumped to roses chocolate vacations. Everything. My ex was even cool with it. Because we were still close we talked about everything.
Its been three months. I am very happy with "B" but my ex and I are very unfinished. One- "A" has done everything you can imagine to fix our relationship. 100% honest. Done everything i have asked. Just been beside me and trying to earn my trust back. When i started with "B" he let me have my space, he wanted me to be happy knew i deserved it, he even talked to "B" as they know and respect each other. The only problem is I am miserable.
Part of me feels like I am the cheater. I had no business starting with somebody else, even when he said he could handle it. Its not right. The other part feels the same i did three month ago when "A" told me he didnt deserve me and that how could i take back a cheater? Like , yeah, he had a second chance and instead of saying please please ...he said. You shouldnt take me back. He dosent feel that way anymore he told me one night at his parents house over dinner (his mother is going though cancer treatment and we all gather on a regular basis for support, she is like my second mom) that he wanted more than anything to continue with our life together, always had, but he knew it wasnt the time. That he loved me and wanted me but wouldn't disrespect "B" that way.
Wtf? How am i suppose to respond? Now your a gentleman? Your waiting for me? What?!
I dont want to be with either of them at his point, just because I am confused. "B" is amazing. He's fantastic in bed, he loves me more than i know what to do with it. He is fun, we have more in common then "A" and I. But he dosent mean as much to me as "A" who was for all intents and purposes my spouse. "A" who cheated and isnt my match sexually and dosent want the exact same things in life like me and "B" do. But we "A" and I made it work. We rarely argued, always made up immediately . Were happy, before. We were buying a house.
I dont know. I dont deserve "B" I dont. That man is an angel. I feel like he might be the right person but he isnt right now. Which i have told him. But i cant push him away. I CANT. I am clinging to them both. Afraid i will loose them both. "A" is willing to share my love. Almost like a punishment. "B" isnt. He says he will fight for me. And what does that mean?! I am not about this drama. I had enough of it 5 months ago.
I dont care what anyone says. This is the worst thing that has ever happened to me and i have been though the ringer.. I dont want to be in this position. There is nothing glamorous about it. I have nightmares and near panic attacks. Plus i am more distracted then I need to be.
What should i do?
When everything was going on I relied heavily on my friends. My best girlfriend. My buddy who was also going through it, with the cheating finace. And my buddy from work who had been my best friend for a year, "B". One night me and my buddy "B" got drunk and slept together. We had been fighting our attraction to one another for months. He was drunk enough to confess to me that I "drove him crazy, Always had," he went on tell me how he's wanted me since the first time he saw me but respected me too much to push. It was easy for me to ignore him before, not that he made moves on me but you could tell. With it all out in the open. It was a skip and jump to every night. The chemistry was intense , which was no surprise since we had become instant friends.
We agreed the timing wasnt right, we worked together, i was still close with my ex- we had just broken up. We talked about everything. At first we kind of just limited it to sex but....it was like we couldnt help ourselves. It jumped to roses chocolate vacations. Everything. My ex was even cool with it. Because we were still close we talked about everything.
Its been three months. I am very happy with "B" but my ex and I are very unfinished. One- "A" has done everything you can imagine to fix our relationship. 100% honest. Done everything i have asked. Just been beside me and trying to earn my trust back. When i started with "B" he let me have my space, he wanted me to be happy knew i deserved it, he even talked to "B" as they know and respect each other. The only problem is I am miserable.
Part of me feels like I am the cheater. I had no business starting with somebody else, even when he said he could handle it. Its not right. The other part feels the same i did three month ago when "A" told me he didnt deserve me and that how could i take back a cheater? Like , yeah, he had a second chance and instead of saying please please ...he said. You shouldnt take me back. He dosent feel that way anymore he told me one night at his parents house over dinner (his mother is going though cancer treatment and we all gather on a regular basis for support, she is like my second mom) that he wanted more than anything to continue with our life together, always had, but he knew it wasnt the time. That he loved me and wanted me but wouldn't disrespect "B" that way.
Wtf? How am i suppose to respond? Now your a gentleman? Your waiting for me? What?!
I dont want to be with either of them at his point, just because I am confused. "B" is amazing. He's fantastic in bed, he loves me more than i know what to do with it. He is fun, we have more in common then "A" and I. But he dosent mean as much to me as "A" who was for all intents and purposes my spouse. "A" who cheated and isnt my match sexually and dosent want the exact same things in life like me and "B" do. But we "A" and I made it work. We rarely argued, always made up immediately . Were happy, before. We were buying a house.
I dont know. I dont deserve "B" I dont. That man is an angel. I feel like he might be the right person but he isnt right now. Which i have told him. But i cant push him away. I CANT. I am clinging to them both. Afraid i will loose them both. "A" is willing to share my love. Almost like a punishment. "B" isnt. He says he will fight for me. And what does that mean?! I am not about this drama. I had enough of it 5 months ago.
I dont care what anyone says. This is the worst thing that has ever happened to me and i have been though the ringer.. I dont want to be in this position. There is nothing glamorous about it. I have nightmares and near panic attacks. Plus i am more distracted then I need to be.
What should i do?
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