How would he take this if one day?

I fall in love with another guy when he finally changes and realize. I don't mean to sound self centered but I believe I'm a really good girl (not perfect). My boyfriend and I had a rocky relationship. He has improved but we had an argument that lead him to curse at me and I cursed at him back. He believes that he is not good for me and he thinks that he is going to continually hurt me, so part of him wants to let me go while another part of him wants me to stay. I told him I can't be his friend now because it will confuse me. I have to be away from him for a while but he doesn't want that. When we hangout he would want to kiss me but I would turn my head cause I don't know where we stand. He shows affection but then acts distant. I feel like it would confuse both of us if we were friends but it would hurt a lot no hearing from each other for a long time. But I wonder how would he feel if some other guy came along? He wants to be friends and he still cares because I'm one of those people that changed his troubled life. He feels that I'm too good for him and that he doesn't deserve me and what does it mean when a person says they are embarrassed because of that? He also doesn't want to let me go..he says he rather has me as a friend than not have me at all in his life. He says he needs to grow and change because he is still immature.