Do I have this all wrong?

I knew a woman but lost contact with her over 20 yrs ago...whew..long time, but recently I "found" her on Facebook. What a surprise for both of us. We exchanged emails and such. At one time I had a real crush on her but we never did anything but be friends. I was married, she wasn't. She still isn't, saying she never found the right one....I thought maybe it was me she was waiting for. I am now widowed for 7 years but am in a committed relationship. Don't know for sure what that means but it sounds permanent. I was getting scared of being committed but after I found this other person and exchanged emails, we talked on the phone finally. Our conversation was pretty much a goodbye and have a nice life it would have been wonderful type. I never called or emailed her again and had no intention of doing so. My current significant other found those emails. For some reason I never deleted them. Just never got around to it but some of the things I said in them were pretty selfish. Things like I wish her, the other woman, and I had gotten together years ago, I regret not doing that, (I had been out to the west coast recently and told her I wish I could have seen her then), I told her I'm currently single and since my marriage ended I had enjoyed sleeping alone, but I never told her I was in a relationship. Now my SO thinks I cheated and doesn't trust me. I think, and have told her, that yes I may have said some inappropriate things and left some things out on purpose, but they didn't mean anything and to me it was more of a reunion of sorts than anything else. I had no intention of ever seeing this person, she lived almost 2000 miles away and felt I didn't owe her that much so I didn't feel the need to tell her anything more about my personal life than what I said. I had decided that after she denied me access to her facebook page, citing she only gives out personal stuff to good friends and family. And that was when I decided I wasn't "good friends" and we just played catch-up. So, do I have this all wrong? Is my current SO right? Did I "cheat"?.....I'm angry at her for snooping in my emails...and to top it all off, the "situation" happened over 7 months before.
By Noonathome 8 years ago :: Dating
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