BF of 2 years broke up with me last night. We live together w/ same friends. How to handle with coll dignity
My boyfriend and I have been dating for 2 years (and 3 weeks). We broke up last night. He doesn't think I am the one or we are meant to be together. He is not "in love" with me. We had been getting along so good and even talked of getting married, but we had 2 blow up drunken raging fights over the last 3 weeks and I even slapped him. I know! I accept the consequences of my actions and that he thinks the relationship at times is too hard, he needs to spend time working on himself, etc..
Here is where I need help. I accept it is over, but I love him even though in my heart I guess I know he doesn't love me the same. I want to bow out as gracefully as possible, without letting him have it so easy. I want the opportunity for him to miss me if that could happen.
Can you help with these ??
1. We live together.. without yelling or many tears I told him he would have to leave this morning and then find a time to get his stuff. How do I do no contact in this situation and/or handle it gracefully knowing we need contact. He said he would leave the key once all of his stuff was out, but I want to have control back of my life and want to change the locks. Is that over the top?
2. Our circle of friends is like one big family. How do I do no- contact in that situation? If I do no contact with friends too won't he deepen the bonds and "get" the friends. If we have to be around each other how do I act so he misses me without being pathetic?
3. How do I handle jealousy and the pain of knowing (he is quite attractive) that he might begin the single life full force and handle that pain since we go to the same places?
4. I actually still love him and am so hurt and blindsided, but in a way I guess I saw it coming. How do I handle this all cool and collective with grace—without completely going batshit crazy? I want our friends to feel comfortable, but I don't want to give him a pass to get all the benefits of a friendship with me at this time. I don't know how to balance being the girl you regret leaving with holding my boundaries (without appearing too nice or too bith&)
Any other advice appreciated.
Here is where I need help. I accept it is over, but I love him even though in my heart I guess I know he doesn't love me the same. I want to bow out as gracefully as possible, without letting him have it so easy. I want the opportunity for him to miss me if that could happen.
Can you help with these ??
1. We live together.. without yelling or many tears I told him he would have to leave this morning and then find a time to get his stuff. How do I do no contact in this situation and/or handle it gracefully knowing we need contact. He said he would leave the key once all of his stuff was out, but I want to have control back of my life and want to change the locks. Is that over the top?
2. Our circle of friends is like one big family. How do I do no- contact in that situation? If I do no contact with friends too won't he deepen the bonds and "get" the friends. If we have to be around each other how do I act so he misses me without being pathetic?
3. How do I handle jealousy and the pain of knowing (he is quite attractive) that he might begin the single life full force and handle that pain since we go to the same places?
4. I actually still love him and am so hurt and blindsided, but in a way I guess I saw it coming. How do I handle this all cool and collective with grace—without completely going batshit crazy? I want our friends to feel comfortable, but I don't want to give him a pass to get all the benefits of a friendship with me at this time. I don't know how to balance being the girl you regret leaving with holding my boundaries (without appearing too nice or too bith&)
Any other advice appreciated.
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