What do i do about my girlfriend wanting to possibly spend the holidays apart?

My girlfriend and i have been dating for over a year. We are very much in love and have recently even started about getting married. We are from 2 different states in the midwest (our families live about 4 hours apart). I moved to illinois after college (where i met her) and live for 3 years dating her on and off until a year and a half ago when we got serious. About 2 months ago i got an offer for a new job in New Jersey and i talked to her and she agreed i should take it and she moved here with me. Today, we got into an argument about what we are doing for the holidays. She wants to go home for a week (for christmas and new years) in order to spend time with her family and friends. I can completely see that she wants to spend time with her family and friend but she told me she doesnt care what i do because she wants to go home for a week to see her family (for xmas) and to see her friends (for new years eve). I am confused because i believe family is VERY important and it is also important to spend time with eachother's families if we do decide to get married. I just feel a little left out and like she doesnt want to see me or my family for the holidays. I have also found out she already started talking to her friends about plans for new years and hasnt even mentioned a word to me. I believe family is very important but it is also important for US to spend holidays together and would be willing to work with her to see her family and also for us to make a trip to see my family. When i try to talk to her she gets upset and says that i am trying to tell her what to do when i just want to compormise. Point being she wants to go home for a week to see her family and friends, doesnt care about seeing my family, and has even said that i can do whatever i want. I dont know what to think and i feel a little left our of her plans and am upset that she doesnt even want to see my family or try to find a way for us to spend the holidays together. What do you think i should do? Is she being irrational or do i just let her go on her own and i find somethign else to do. It hurts because i love her and i feel like she is leaving me out of her life and just doesnt care. Please help.