Troubleshooting an unreasonable boyfriend?

I'll try and make this short.

Background: we've been together 2 and a half years. I am 19, he is 21.

1. I found out last year that for a year or more he had been talking to his ex online, being completely inappropriate and saying he wanted to have sex with her, and was imagining her naked, and comparing her to me and so on. Now, almost a year later whenever I bring it up, because it still hurts, he gets furious at me.

2. He dumped me so he could see other women a few months ago, but we worked it out within a week and got back together. I found out after the fact that on the night he called me to beg me to take him back, about an hour after we ended the call, he was texting a female friend and telling her he wanted to have sex with her, and continued that line of conversation over instant messengers. He said to me before we broke up that he would be so hurt and upset if I slept with or flirted with another man while we weren't together.

3. He always gets angry at the fact that I play online video games with two male friends. One is four years younger and has a girlfriend, the other is a shutaway with no social life and they both live 500km or more away from me, and I have no romantic interest in either. However according to my boyfriend, it doesn't matter what I feel because apparently he "knows" that they fancy me. Which is ridiculous.

4. He blames me for things out of my control. When we walk down the street and guys whistle or even look at me, it puts him into either a rage or a sulk and I cop the brunt of it because he seems to think it's my fault.

5. He is completely passive-aggressive, emotionally retarded and unreasonable, and cannot work out disagreements or have "good" arguments where we work towards a solution together. He sulks and ruins any good mood I have because of the smallest imagined slight.

6. He had been on anti-depressants for a while at the recommendation of a doctor but he recently stopped taking them because they supposedly made him feel slightly nauseated. He also displays signs of social anxiety disorder but refuses to seek treatment. Instead he lays all his bullshit on me and when I try and discuss it with him to help he gets into a sulk and talks about killing himself because life sucks, blah blah blah.


I am considering breaking up with him and have been for a while. However it would not be the ideal outcome for me, because despite the above, I do love him. So I guess what I am after is advice to deal with his bad side, or a clear-cut, no-excuses reason to dump him.
By P3NANCE 7 years ago :: Dating
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