Our marriage have more disagreement than agreement in everyday life. Don't know where we are headed?

We seems to be suffering from deep compatibility issues. From the beginning of our marriage, the things have gone from bad to worse instead of improving with time. I am a little more interested in friends and partying (but not extraordinaly), but wife seems to be completely opposite to my thinking. While I appreciate her devotion to family and kids, the situation is going out of hand day by day. The atmoshphere led me to get involved (emotionally) with a women colleagues at the work place which is now over but has left deep scars on our relationship and nobody is happy especially at a time when we are both heading into the middle age.