Should I stay with a separated (but legally married) guy who loves me?
I love Billy and he loves me, but I relationship hasn't been easy. I was single for a little over a year. 32, never married, no kids, and I wanted all that. One day, I met a handsome man and from the first time our eyes met it was as though we were drawn to each other. He told me he was in a marriage he wanted out of, with two young kids. He just started the separation period, so there;s a year before the divorce can be finalized. ( a little background - he got married 11 years ago, at the age of 19. She cheated on him first, then he cheated. They both made mistakes. He says he only stayed this long for the kids.) I thought, WHOA, let me get outta this situation. Though I tried, I couldn't stop dating him.
Next year, my job will relocate me internationally. Billy said he would marry me (once the divorce is finalized) and travel with me. We could start a family together and he'd give me all I want. He's honorable, loving, and generous. And we seem to want the same things out of life. If we were to marry I's be the bread-winner. I won't quit my job to stay in the U.S. and he'd quit his to be with me. But, he's ex-military and still working on an undergrad degree. No real earning power. I make a good salary but he'd have alimony and child support. I'd be taking on a lot of baggage, but I would be in love.
Randomly, I met a Eric! Eric is a handsome corporate exec with with a great education. On paper, we match up nicely as far as bringing similar educations, jobs, and backgrounds to the table. But, I don't know him very well, and I know I love Billy. I also know Eric won't give up his job to move with me, and I would have to quit mine to be with him if we fell in love. He doesn't have kids but wants them. And he seems very nice.
So, that's the back story - here's my dilemma: I want to have a family and get married. I love Billy. But he won't be legally divorced until this time next year. I like Eric, but I'm not in love with him yet, and maybe never will. Also, I doubt he'd quit his job for me and I'd have to quit mine. But he's awesome so far and single. I am not going to date both guys, its nit fair to either of them. So what do I choose? True Love, a Househusband, two (adorable) step-kids, but scandal over the "affair" or the possibility love, the threat of becoming a housewife or finding a new job, and a guy with no baggage?
Next year, my job will relocate me internationally. Billy said he would marry me (once the divorce is finalized) and travel with me. We could start a family together and he'd give me all I want. He's honorable, loving, and generous. And we seem to want the same things out of life. If we were to marry I's be the bread-winner. I won't quit my job to stay in the U.S. and he'd quit his to be with me. But, he's ex-military and still working on an undergrad degree. No real earning power. I make a good salary but he'd have alimony and child support. I'd be taking on a lot of baggage, but I would be in love.
Randomly, I met a Eric! Eric is a handsome corporate exec with with a great education. On paper, we match up nicely as far as bringing similar educations, jobs, and backgrounds to the table. But, I don't know him very well, and I know I love Billy. I also know Eric won't give up his job to move with me, and I would have to quit mine to be with him if we fell in love. He doesn't have kids but wants them. And he seems very nice.
So, that's the back story - here's my dilemma: I want to have a family and get married. I love Billy. But he won't be legally divorced until this time next year. I like Eric, but I'm not in love with him yet, and maybe never will. Also, I doubt he'd quit his job for me and I'd have to quit mine. But he's awesome so far and single. I am not going to date both guys, its nit fair to either of them. So what do I choose? True Love, a Househusband, two (adorable) step-kids, but scandal over the "affair" or the possibility love, the threat of becoming a housewife or finding a new job, and a guy with no baggage?
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