Should I break up with my girlfriend? She gets mad at me for the stupidest things and tries to control me...

I've known her for a year and a half now and we've gotten very close over the past year, started dating last June. I'm a female as well, by the way, if that makes much difference. She's a junior in high school and I'm a freshman in college.

Before we even dated, she would get furious over the stupidest things. When we started dating, it got even worse and never stopped. A perfect example of this would be Halloween this past year. We had planned maybe two (max three) days before that we were going to go to a haunted house with some friends. When we met at her house, her mom showed us footage of inside the place we were going, and me and two of our friends decided that didn't seem very enjoyable to us. Despite having another one of our friends wanting to go with her still, she got furious. But only at ME. She got so mad, saying how we had planned this and that I knew she really wanted to go, even though this never seemed to be the case before. I told her it should be okay that I don't want to go because she won't have to go along because of it. She just kept getting more mad and more mad. Knowing this was a ridiculous reason to become furious with me, I told her, "Okay, be mad at me. I don't feel like you should be, but okay." This just made everything worse, naturally. Keep in mind that in the days before, this did not seem like a big thing she had been dying to go to, but more of a casual fleeting idea of what to do the upcoming weeking. Anyway, she got so mad, getting on me about how I was being a bitch. Then she went into her room and I didn't follow because I was mad as well, the whole thing was so stupid! About twenty minutes later, she came out saying that she found someone else to go with , her ex-boyfriend who was in town from college who she had barely spoken to in months and was definitely not friends with. Talk about a hit below the belt! There had been situations before like this where she would get so furious over something she should not be mad at ALL about (maybe disappointed, but not mad!) where I had just given in, but this time was so obviously ridiculous, I told myself I wasn't going to do that this time, so I didn't. When we all went outside to leave, I was going to go with the other two defectors and she was leaving in another car. When I made no attempt at anything, she was even MORE mad, and after some verbal exchanges in which she was calling me a bitch and I told her she shouldn't be mad, she said we should take a break. I just stood there and watched her leave. RIDICULOUS! In hindsight, I wished I hadn't gone after her, but I did. She ended up not going with her ex, but still hung out with him because she felt bad for ditching him! So she ditched our other friend she was with, who I picked up, and after like two hours, she met us. Both me and him were so angry.

She wouldn't necessarily always do something so vengeful as call upon the ex when she was angry, but that furious anger was always there for the same sorts of stupid reasons. Everything is ALWAYS about her. If I suggest doing something and she says, "Nooo I don't want to do that!" there is no question that that is NOT what we will do. If I say I don't want to do something, but she does, well, I'm sh*t outta luck.

I finally brought this whole issue up to her after keeping it bottled in for months only hoping it would get better. We didn't constantly bicker like this, and when we didn't, things were great. But it still happened frequently. When I told her about it, she flipped! I told her about things in the past she had done that hurt me and I don't know if she knew they did, but she just accused me of being overly sensitive and she never did anything that mean, and besides, it was a long time ago, so I should just forget about it. At that point, I almost broke up with her, but then she totally freaked out, saying she can't live without me, how she would die without me. So, guilt ridden, I stayed. I regret it.

That is only ONE issue. She also convinced me to take a year off from college because she was afraid we weren't going to be able to see each other as much. Despite me trying to convince her that, well, I would only be ten minutes away at the big university in town, she argued that's too much distance. I'm glad that didn't work out, that is, I had to go to school. But she convinced me to do go part time, which my parents reluctantly agreed to since I came in with enough credit to where this wouldn't hurt me much. Also, She has to see me as much as humanly possible. This has caused me to neglect my other friends who I was extremely close to before getting close to her. She says that she suffers when she's not with me and can't stand it. But, if she has to go to something, she seems perfectly fine. It seems like it's only when I have to do something that she suffers. She's kept me from making new friends in college, essentially. She also couldn't stand me living in a dorm even though my parents had already paid for it in full, so she convinced me to live somewhere else behind their backs, and when that didn't work, to basically go back to living at home, to my parent's confusion. When recently I've brought this up to her, that I think my taking a full load of classes and living in a dorm would have worked out fine, she accuses me of not wanting to see her, because we would have seen each other less if I had done that.

I keep thinking of more things to say about her, but I think this covers it for now. I may add more in comments, but so far, do you think I should break up with her? I've only listed negative things so far, but things are super great when we're happy. I love her and care about her and I'm super happy with her. Except for recently, I've just been unhappy all the time because of all of this being prolonged. I may have just answered my own question there, but I was wondering what ya'll thought.
By theshovel29 10 years ago :: Dating
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