Once a cheater, always a cheater? Or do people actually change?
I'll be a junior in college, and have been dating my boyfriend for nearly 4 years. We've been at separate colleges the past two years, but we'll be at the same one this next year and living together. Up until about 6 months ago, things were great... we seemed to be really maturing and moving up to bigger and better things. However, as I allude to... things changed. We fought over little things, he seemed so distant, and we just weren't in a good place.
With about one week left in the semester (yeah, right before finals week), I found out that my best friend (who's in a 5 year serious relationship) and my boyfriend had kissed... well, at least that's all he confessed to.
I was distraught and totally caught off guard... this incident had apparently happened before we started fighting, so I can't help but feel it caused so much of our fights.
I was ready to move on because I valued our relationship enough to know that I could forgive him. However, right when I came to this conclusion, he recinded all of his apologies and decided that he wanted to take a break and have some time to himself.
I begged (yes, I lowered myself to begging) him to let us work on this together, not individually, and he eventually agreed. During this time as well, I was about to undergo my second reconstructive knee surgery... meaning I would be laid up for quite a while.
As I was recovering, he would stop by... and things were good... we talked, he would tell me he loved me, and he would kiss me goodbye. But, one night after he went out to a graduation party, I got another phone call saying that he was hooking up with another girl.
I confronted him right away about it, and he told me the truth and everything. He said that he realized that he wanted to be with me...He claimed that he didn't think we were actually together (yeah....), but he still felt horrible regardless.
He cried, he begged, he pleaded... much like I had.
He made promises, and now after a month, part of me believes he changed.
The person who did those things is not the same person I was dating.... but the last thing I want is to get hurt again.
So tell me... is the saying true? Once someone cheats, will they just cheat again? Or in any of your experiences, have you encountered someone who's changed?
With about one week left in the semester (yeah, right before finals week), I found out that my best friend (who's in a 5 year serious relationship) and my boyfriend had kissed... well, at least that's all he confessed to.
I was distraught and totally caught off guard... this incident had apparently happened before we started fighting, so I can't help but feel it caused so much of our fights.
I was ready to move on because I valued our relationship enough to know that I could forgive him. However, right when I came to this conclusion, he recinded all of his apologies and decided that he wanted to take a break and have some time to himself.
I begged (yes, I lowered myself to begging) him to let us work on this together, not individually, and he eventually agreed. During this time as well, I was about to undergo my second reconstructive knee surgery... meaning I would be laid up for quite a while.
As I was recovering, he would stop by... and things were good... we talked, he would tell me he loved me, and he would kiss me goodbye. But, one night after he went out to a graduation party, I got another phone call saying that he was hooking up with another girl.
I confronted him right away about it, and he told me the truth and everything. He said that he realized that he wanted to be with me...He claimed that he didn't think we were actually together (yeah....), but he still felt horrible regardless.
He cried, he begged, he pleaded... much like I had.
He made promises, and now after a month, part of me believes he changed.
The person who did those things is not the same person I was dating.... but the last thing I want is to get hurt again.
So tell me... is the saying true? Once someone cheats, will they just cheat again? Or in any of your experiences, have you encountered someone who's changed?
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