My wife's demeanor concerns me....having second thoughts about our marriage?

My wife and I have known each other for 8 years and have been married for 7 years. (Our mutual friend introduced us). We have a 7 year old son together. When my wife became pregnant we only knew each other for 6 months, but I fell in love with her and I proposed to her. She has a 10 year old daughter from a previous marriage and that has never really bothered me. I dearly love her, but I wish we could've have taken things slower and got to know each other better. I knew she was bisexual after getting to know her, but that didn't bother me too much. (She even asked if she could re live the sexual times with her ex girlfriend and we agreed on a threesome---it was all experimental fun) . What I later found out was that she also has a split personality disorder and had horrible childhood trauma. Due to those reasons, it is very hard for her to be faithful.

I caught her cheating on me numerous times with other men from work. (hence her "late night stays" at work). I have forgiven her about 3 times because I love her and understand she is troubled psychologically and we have a 7 year old together. She is such a warm hearted and smart woman and I really adore her...but the last time she cheated on me I just cannot handle it anymore. I moved out and we're technically "married" but have been living separately for 5 months now.

Our boy constantly asks me "why are you and mommy not living together" and it breaks my heart. But in all honesty because of the disrespect i had to endure I am starting to lose sexual interest in her as well. I still have feelings....but I guess not enough feelings to keep the marriage going. I am going through deep turmoil and don't know whether to forgive her yet another time and keep the marriage going for our son, or do what I feel I want to do. I've been to a different country recently on a business trip and met a beautiful sexy girl at a barnightclub. She was very young...around 22. I usually don't go for that age category since I'm 38 and prefer women my own age because I like to be challenged intellectually. But nowadays I just feel like saying, "screw it" and just having fun.

I am so psychologically drained from my marriage that I feel like I just want to have fun. I just cannot seem to relax. I wanted to kiss and hold that girl but I felt like something in brain is saying "no no no no no". It's like I'm still connected to my wife even though I don't want her in that way anymore. Any ideas on what I should do? my wife wants to work it out...but I feel like I'm "not there" anymore.
By HelloGonzo 7 years ago :: Marriage
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