He loves me but doesn't want to have sex with me

I'm dating for 8 months and we love each other, we are affectionate, have same interests, have fun and are loyal. He is a kind of shy (I suspect he has problems with the fact that he is short). We've been arguing in a weekly basis and I've been very sensitive because we only had sex once (first week) and since then he hasn't touched me and avoid long kisses and anything that is sex related. All that he wants is hugs and chill out in bed. He gets excited sometimes and doesn't have any disfunction.The night that we had intimacy was enjoyable. i asked that he is like that only with me and he said no. I tried many things: be playful, not force the issue, never touch him in a way that he wouldn't feel comfortable, say how I love him and attractive he is to me etc. He is a very generous, sweet, attentive bf and we basically live together. I don't think that he cheats on me because we spend a lot of time together n i never had reasons to suspect of anything. He is late 30's and never had a long term relationship. I'm early 30's and had long term and stable relationship. We basically have everything besides sex. He says that many people would die to have what we have. Of course, he is happy because all his needs have been taken care of. Not that sex is the only thing but we have long term plans and I can't live without at least eventual sex or physical contact besides the chill out in bed forever. Cheat on him is not a possibility. I would never do it. He denies to see the problem and just ignores and not talk about it. I'm starting getting depressed and going to therapy because I feel rejected and insecure. I started being sensitive about any woman that he shows empathy for because I don't see any empathy from him. He doesn't say what to expect. I said that I can wait for when he is comfortable to talk but he never gives a timeframe and ignores me. I also said that I would support him and talked about counseling and he refuses. When I feel insecure about his empathy to other women problems he gets angry, we fight, he kick me out, and doesn't talk to me for days. He says that I have no reasons to feel this way that he loves me so much and need to know the consequences of my insecurity and that is all in my mind. I could understand, wait for him, support etc but I can't understand what I don't know about. Am I being unreasonable? Why a man would make love with his gf once and then just stop any sexual contact? I love him so much but I'm starting feeling unattractive what is not true and even he agrees. He doesn't touch himself or do porno as well. I'm desperate...We need to work it out.
By brokenheart_sf 10 years ago :: Dating
  • Iain A. Morrison
    MA Psych Cert Ed.
    Loving attachment is probably the greatest source of our happiness - I can help if it is going wrong - or manage the hurt if its over $2.00/minute
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    MA, Professional Counseling,Therapist
    Emotional Healing-25+ years experience in helping people find solutions that work. "one of the best therapists here" $2.49/minute
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