I grew up with a narcissistic father. Am I continuing down the same road with my child?

When I was young my father would berate me, belittle me, and basically want me to lose to he felt superior and tell me 'told you so.' All my childhood life was spent trying to please him to the point where it became the only thing I wanted to do so not to disappoint him. My younger brother did the exact opposite and never cared what dad thought. He got into trouble at a young age and I was always the perfect child.

This has now changed. I'm the one who struggles. He is flush with good things. I'm definitely the more intelligent one and yet I find it hard to do simple tasks and live a normal life. I've struggled with the change of perceptions everyone has for us and, even though I'm extremely happy for him and how he turned out, it is soul-crushing for me.

So now I have a child. As a toddler, he couldn't be better - and without trying. My problem is even with that, I have very little patience when he does something less than above average. I don't necessarily show it but my brain doesn't allow me to let it go. I feel like he can feel that.

Can kids feel that? I'm so proud of him and I'm trying so hard not to be my dad but I feel he feels that. I just want to be a good parent.

By ColorMeCrazy 1 year ago :: Parenting
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